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Humor

Truthful Gossip 3

(by Kim Thoday)

As told to me by Jimmy “Truthful” Jones at the Bayview Hotel in Melbourne, in 2003.

Why did the Senior Minister (Pastor) cross the road? Possible answers:

Cause it was pragmatic to do so

Cause it was decisive

Cause there was a good business opportunity

Cause it was a good career move

Cause there was a bigger Church

Cause it was part of the new mission statement

Cause it was an executive decision

Cause once Dr Schuller crossed a road

Cause God had anointed him to do so

Cause he thought he saw Elvis disguised as Dr Schuller

Cause there were flashing lights

Cause there was no-one left to delegate this task

Cause Bishop John Spong said not to

For another photo opportunity

To see if others would follow

To identify with ordinary people

To show that he’s not driven

To read a road sign for another sermon title

To see how much money the chicken had

To be missional

To avoid poor people

To show his ecumenical spirit

To avoid more irate husbands

As an attempt at independent thinking

(Then Jimmy said something very interesting. He said “Ya know mate, in fact I know that a lotta Senior Ministers are really good blokes. I gotta a mate who’s one ‘an he works his damn butt off. But if only the buggas could learn to ta larf at ‘em selves a bit more!”)

KIM THODAY, HEWETT COMMUNITY CHURCH OF CHRIST, SOUTH AUSTRALIA http://www.hewett.org.au

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