Someone on alt.christnet.christianlife wrote in message . <> This entire thread is sickening. What an example we are to the world. I responded: Agreed with the second part. We are not 'commending the good news' very well in these sorts of 'discussions' (is that the right word?) However, let me encourage you all to stand back and get beneath/behind some of these responses. Wise counsellors/pastors come across the dynamic of 'transference' every day. Simply put, it means that when someone 'presses our buttons' who reminds us (albeit often unconsciously) of someone who's hurt us in the past, we will almost certainly over-react. Our over-reaction may range from coarse/rough to sophisticated/polite - but can be hurtful to others anyway. Without too much stereotyping, some cultures are more direct in their speech (my friends who are Dutch or German tell me they are, and proud of it), others more oblique (like educated Brits - who take some pride in 'damning with faint praise'). Yes it *is* childish to go on playing the schoolyard game 'Yes you did no I didn't', but within us all there's a hurt child. It was Freud that first postulated E=MB2, or Everybody=Major Babies2 (the 2 will probably not be read by your newsreader as 'squared' which it was in Freud's formula). When the inner children inside of us are piled on top of each other and we may climb them to insanity, he said. There are hugs given and received here (and I feel somewhat emotional saying this) from people who do not receive loving hugs from anyone at any other time in their lives these days. Let's try to be understanding at this point: these same people react very strongly when the opposite of hugs (moving _against_ with confronting anger, or moving _away_ - threatening to plonk someone) happens. Have you noticed that some of the most huggy sisters/brothers can also be the most outspoken when they are 'crossed'? Makes perfect sense. Another dynamic: some here are not well integrated into loving churches. Their major source of Christian community is here, right here. So when asked to leave, that hurts... What I've read here in the last three months is almost exactly what I experience in 'church splits' - a lot of angry bitter words, 'us' vs. 'them' and attempts to reconcile, which sometimes fizzle... Oh, that's enough. I'm going to have a nap. God bless you all. I love you *all*!!! And *good* is going to come out of all this catharsis. -- Shalom! Rowland Croucher 12,000+ articles
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