My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory. I tried, but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, but there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED, AND FOUND THAT I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

~~~

A lil' silly humor to get you up and running:

VAN GOGH:

A few of Van Gogh's relatives were:

His dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes ---------------------- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store --- Stop 'n Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia ------------------ U Gogh

The brother who bleached his clothes white -------- Hue Gogh

The cousin from Illinois ---------------------------- Chica' Gogh

His magician uncle ------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin ------------------------------- A mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------- Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach ---------- Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle ----------------------------- Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------------ Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle ---------------------------- Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst ------------------------ E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin --------------------------- Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------ Way-to Gogh

The little bouncy nephew --------------------------- Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco dancing -------------- Go Gogh

And his brother who is a missionary in Papua New Guinea ------ Fella-him Gogh

Well, there you Gogh !!