[Note from Rowland. I agree with just about all of this. Best argument for the existence of God? Jesus.].

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Silly arguments for God’s existence that one should NEVER use ….Why? …because they are silly!!!!

Be sure to read 323. LEE STROBEL’S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM WARM AND FUZZY THINGS)

“Let my people think!” – God

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from http://facts4god.faithweb.com/thelist.html

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2. COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause. (2) I say the universe must have a cause. (3) Therefore, the universe has a cause. (4) Therefore, God exists.

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6. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

(1) Check out that tree. Isn’t it pretty? (2) Therefore, God exists.

7. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES

(1) My aunt Helen was most likely to die from cancer. (2) She didn’t. (3) Therefore, God exists.

8. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)

(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us. (2) Therefore, God exists.

9. MORAL ARGUMENT (II)

(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard. (2) That all changed once I became religious. (3) Therefore, God exists.

10. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION

(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists. (2) Evolution can’t be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable (3) Therefore, God exists.

11. ARGUMENT FROM FEAR

(1) If there is no God then we’re all going to die. (2) Therefore, God exists.

12. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE

(1) [arbitrary passage from OT] (2) [arbitrary passage from NT] (3) Therefore, God exists.

13. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists — it’s too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not. (2) Therefore, God exists.

14. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE

(1) Okay, I don’t pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you’re obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you’ll just ask him into your life. “For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth” John 3:16. (2) Therefore, God exists.

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16. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION

(1) See this bonfire? (2) Therefore, God exists.

17. PARENTAL ARGUMENT

(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists. (2) Therefore, God exists.

18. ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS

(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God. (2) They can’t all be wrong, can they? (3) Therefore, God exists.

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23. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY

(1) Eric Clapton is God. (2) Therefore, God exists.

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24. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY

(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God. (2) Here is the URL. (3) Therefore, God exists.

25. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY

(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping! (2) No one has ever refuted (1). (3) Therefore, God exists.

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28. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)

(1) Atheists are spiritually blind. (2) Therefore, God exists.

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31. ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS

(1) God exists. (2) I don’t give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons. (3) Therefore, God exists.

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38. ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF

(1) The majority of the world’s population are nonbelievers in Christianity. (2) This is just what Satan intended. (3) Therefore, God exists.

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41. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE

(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently? (2) That’s how infinite wisdom reveals itself. (3) Therefore, God exists.

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44. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT

(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever. (2) I rather like that idea. (3) Therefore, God exists.

45. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY (I)

(1) Pots don’t go around giving orders to the potter. (2) Therefore, God exists.

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51. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY

(1) The Bible is true. (2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact. (3) Therefore, God exists.

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55. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS

(1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend. (2) I’m lonely, and I want a best friend. (3) Therefore, God exists.

56. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION

(1) God exists. (2) [atheist's counterargument] (3) Yes he does. (4) [atheist's counterargument] (5) Yes he does! (6) [atheist's counterargument] (7) YES HE DOES!!! (8) [atheist gives up and goes home] (9) Therefore, God exists.

57. ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION

(1) God is: (a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby. (b) The love of a mother for her child. (c) That little still voice in your heart. (d) Humankind’s potential to overcome their difficulties. (e) How I feel when I look at a sunset. (f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day. (2) Therefore, God exists.

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59. ARGUMENT FROM SUPERIORITY

(1) If God does not exist, then I am an inferior being, since I am not “special” in a cosmic sense. (2) But I am superior. Because I am a Christian. (3) Therefore, God exists.

60. ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION

(1) If there are absolute moral standards, then God exists. (2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards. (3) But that’s because they don’t want to admit to being sinners. (4) Therefore, there are absolute moral standards. (5) Therefore, God exists.

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62. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I)

(1) Intellectually, I know that the existence of God is impossible, or vastly improbable. (2) But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in front of my Christian apologist peers. (3) Therefore, I must pretend that (1) is false. (4) Therefore, God exists.

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70. ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)

1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X? 2) Atheist: of course. 3) How about the slightly modified proposition X’? 4) Atheist: Um, no, not really. 5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true? 6) Atheist: No! And I didn’t agree with X’! 7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well? Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway? 9) I’m glad we all agree….. …. 37) So now we have used propositions X, X’, Y, Y’, Z, Z’, P, P’, Q and Q’ to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed? 38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I’ve only agreed with X. Where is this going? …. 81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L”, L”’ and J” are true. Agreed? 82) I HAVEN’T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU’VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!? …. 177) …and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ” and BTU’ are all obviously valid. Agreed? 178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust] 179) Therefore, God exists.

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76. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY

1) I’ve had religious experiences that can’t be explained unless I’m insane or God exists. 2) Therefore, God exists.

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80. ARGUMENT FROM SUBJECTIVITY

1) Everything is subjective. 2) No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof. 3) Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that if everything is subjective then, perforce, God is subjective, is false. 4) Therefore, God (objectively) exists.

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96.ARGUMENT FROM TEEN/TWENTYISH CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT

1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that. 2) Also, our Youth Group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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99. ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN

1) If there is a designer, then God must exist. 2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer 3) *throws watch into forest* 4) Therefore, God exists.

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105. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER

1) God exists. 2) [atheist gives counterarguments] 3) You’re in my prayers. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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108. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING

1) Behold, foolish atheist, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God. 2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break] 3) [atheist's eyes implode] 4) I see that you have not refuted (2). 5) Therefore, God exists.

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111. ARGUMENT FROM MARTYRDOM

1) The apostles would not have died for something they knew wasn’t true. 2) The atheist gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom, but they were obviously fooled by Satan. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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114. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOOLISHNESS OF ATHEISM

1) Psalm 14:1. 2) Therefore, God exists.

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126. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY (II)

1) Even an idiot can see that God exists. 2) I am an idiot. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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134. ARGUMENT FROM LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS

1) The Bible has lots and lots of books written by lots of people over lots of time. 2) Through countless centuries of apologetics, we’ve been able to hammer out a more or less coherent plot for all these books (the ones we liked, anyway). 3) It is impossible for so many authors over so much time to write so many books from which we could form a coherent plot. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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136. ARGUMENT FROM ADMINISTRATIVE CONTROL (BAPTISTBOARD’S ARGUMENT)

1) [insert Christian argument] 2) [atheist refutes argument] 3) Atheists are hereby banned. 4) [repeat (1)] 5) [no refutations] 6) Therefore, God exists.

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147. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLE IN THE WTC

1) An intact Bible was found in the WTC ruins. 2) Oh, wait . . . turns out it was a dictionary. 3) Oh well, Therefore, God exists anyway.

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160. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK

1) Resistance is futile. 2) You will be assimilated. 3) Therefore, God exists.

161. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (I)

1) When I pray and it comes true, God made it come true. 2) When I pray and it doesn’t come true, God has a better plan. 3) Therefore, God exists.

162. ARGUMENT FROM POPEYE

1) God said, “I yam that I yam.” 2) Therefore, God exists.

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164. ARGUMENT FROM PAIN AVOIDANCE

1) If I don’t believe that God exists, I’ll go to hell. 2) Please don’t hurt me. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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178. ARGUMENT FROM BOWELS

1) I forgot to say grace last night. 2) This morning, I was punished with a painful bowel movement. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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193. ARGUMENT FROM C.S. LEWIS

1) C.S. Lewis had a lot of good arguments for Christianity — at least that’s what my Christian friends tell me. 2) C.S. Lewis also wrote a lot of popular books. 3) So C.S. Lewis must have been right! 4) Therefore, God exists.

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221. ARGUMENT FROM WIND

1) You can’t see the wind. 2) But you believe in it. 3) It’s the same way with God. 4) It is TOO the same thing! 5) Therefore, God exists.

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229. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY

1) I woke up last night with a feeling of indescribable pleasure and joy. 2) It couldn’t have been sexual — I’m holy and never have thoughts like those. 3) So the ecstasy must have come from God. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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236. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)

1) The Bible says the Bible is true. 2) Therefore, the Bible is true. 3) The Bible says God exists. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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239. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL PRESERVATION

1) The Bible hasn’t changed that much since it was written. 2) Therefore, everything in it must be true. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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288. ARGUMENT FROM BRAINWASHING

1) Atheists claim that Christians have been brainwashed by churches, priests and religious environment. 2) Yeah, well, you have been brainwashed by secular colleges and universities! Your brainwashing keeps you from the Truth! 3) Therefore, God exists.

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323. LEE STROBEL’S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM WARM AND FUZZY THINGS)

1) I like warm and fuzzy things. 2) When I was an atheist, I didn’t have any warm and fuzzy things in my life. 3) If the New Testament is true, then lots of warm and fuzzy things are true, beacuse all these really smart Christians say so. 4) Old Testament? Never heard of it. 5) Therefore, God exists.

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341. ARGUMENT FROM FEELING GOD’S PRESENCE 1) Atheists just haven’t truly felt God’s presence yet. 2) If they had ever felt God’s presence, they would not be atheists. 3) Theists have truly felt God’s presence. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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359. ARGUMENT FROM REDEFINITION OF ATHEISM

1) Atheists say they don’t believe in God. 2) They’re lying — “atheists” are actually those who worship Satan because they want to indulge their sexual perversions. 3) Satan and his worshippers know that God exists. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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363. ARGUMENT FROM DARWINIAN DIVINITY

1) Atheists are evolutionists who worship Darwin. 2) See, everyone needs to worship a god, even atheists. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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369. ARGUMENT FROM DON’T BE IMPRISONED BY YOUR OWN LOGIC

1) You could see the beauty of God if you would just open your eyes. 2) God won’t show himself to a person who has his eyes closed, you know. 3) Logic can keep you from God, but only if you let it. 4) Therefore, God exists.

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409. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (I)

1) Well . . . 2) Um . . . 3) You see . . . 4) Um . . . 5) Therefore, God exists.

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467. ARGUMENT FROM SCHIZOPHRENIA

1) I hear voices in my head. 2) The voices say they are God. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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487. ARGUMENT FROM DESCARTES BASTARDIZES PART DEUX

1) I don’t think. 2) Therefore, God is.

488. ARGUMENT FROM SALEM WITCH TRIALS

1) The Bible says, “thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.” 2) So we killed them. 3) Therefore, God exists.

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