*Signs Your Cat Is Too Fat*

Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.

Confused guests constantly mistaking him for a beanbag chair.

Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.

No longer cleans self unless coated in Cheese Whiz.

Catfood dish replaced with a trough.

Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pantsuit.

It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.

She only catches mice that get trapped in her gravitational pull.

Has more chins than lives.