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Humor

The Prayer of Jezebel

by Todd Outcalt Issue #179, Jan./Feb. 2002

Yes, just like the popular Prayer of Jabez, readers can learn how to tap into God’s limitless supply of blessings by praying The Prayer of Jezebel each day. And by memorizing the six Points of Jezebel (tried and tested both on Wall Street and at Robert Tilton Ministries), readers will learn how to appear humble while they are living in million dollar homes, how to look religious by giving a few dollars to the poor and drawing media attention to it, and how to ask for even more prosperity while millions are hungry and dying.

The Six Points of Jezebel:

1.. God wants to prosper YOU by giving YOU other people’s property (1 Kings 21:7)

2.. It’s okay to lie if you get a blessing of God in return (1 Kings 21:13)

3.. Stoning is the best way to take a blessing from someone else (1 Kings 21:14)

4.. Take possession of your blessing as soon as you can (1 Kings 21:15)

5.. You know God is on your side if you are prosperous (1 Kings 21:16)

6.. Call for a fast when you REALLY want something like real bad (1 Kings 21:9)

With the success of The Prayer of Jezebel, you can also look for these upcoming prosperity titles at a bookstore near you:

a.. The Prayer of Samson (Give me more Viagra, Lord, and the staying power of 10 men!)

b.. The Prayer of Balaam’s Ass (Give me the money, you idiot, or I’ll give you such a kick!)

c.. The Prayer of Rahab the Harlot (I’m throwing out a lifeline, Lord, but the least you can do is spare me from these sweaty men!)

d.. The Prayer of Zacheus (Lord, why did you have to pass by my sycamore tree and mess up my happy-go-lucky life?)

e.. The Prayer of Goliath (Wanna go get stoned, little boy?)

from

http://www.thedoormagazine.com/archives/prayer_of_jezebel.html

Related Reading:

Do Unto Others: 1000 Hilarious Ways to Screw with People's Heads
The Healing Power of Humor
There's No Toilet Paper . . . on the Road Less Traveled: The Best of Travel Humor and Misadventure (Travelers' Tales)
Isaac Asimov's Treasury of Humor
Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor
Hey Ranger!: True Tales of Humor & Misadventure from America's National Parks
This Book Will Change Your Life
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