This is a good humor e-list. Rowland.

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TODAYS RIDDLE:

Below is the alphabet broken into two groups. What distinguishes one group from the other?

CDILMVX

ABEFGHJKNOPQRSTUWYZ

/\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/

The first group was used as roman numerals, the second group was not.

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One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

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FLOWER MONK

here was once a monk who liked to peddle flowers in front of a large shopping establishment. He was a very annoying fellow, who would constantly beseech you to buy his flowers, and when you refused he would curse you with all the fire and brimstone he could muster.

This was very annoying to the patrons of the shopping center, and they began to take their business elsewhere. The businessmen became upset, because this fellow was driving away all the shoppers.

One day, one of them got an idea. He ran off to the cattle yard, and purchased a lamb. He then came back and climbed to the roof of the building, threw the lamb over the side, killing the monk below as he was selling his flowers.

The other businessmen came up to him and asked, "Why did you do that?"

He replied, "I had to. Only ewes can stop florist friars."

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Whether it comes from wandering in ;the desert, an insatiable thirst for life, or the conviction if one is good, two is better (or safer), contentment is generally not part of the Jewish mind-set:

Bernie and Mel ran into each other in the deli.

"So how's your wife?" asked Mel.

"A cold."

"And your kids?"

"Thank God, perfect."

"And the shop?"

"Never better. Listen, I'm in a hurry so ....."

"Wait a minute," said Mel. "How come you never once ask about me and mine?"

"Oy! You're absolutely right. So Mel, tell me ..... how's by you?"

"Don't ask."

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Q: What do you get when you mix onions and beans?

A: Tear Gas

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"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use ..... toothpicks?"

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A Gift Idea for Your Children & Grandchildren

http://www.gift4grandchildren.com

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