TODAY'S RIDDLE: Where do you find roads without vehicles, forests without trees, and cities without houses? [ answer is at the bottom ] ============================= The nice thing about swimming is that the worse you are at it, the more exercise you get. ___________________ It is amazing how many people want to live a long life and yet, so few want to grow old. ___________________ The difference between a liberal and conservative is a conservative prays in public and drinks in private and a liberal prays in private and drinks in public. __________________ Mario Andretti has retired from race car driving. That's a good thing. He's getting old. He ran his entire last race with his left blinker on. ============================= Blind Parachuting ------------------------- A blind man was describing his favorite sport ..... parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh ..... the dog's leash goes slack." ============================= A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching LARGE fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips, he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing with which to weigh the baby so he used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz. ============================= ONE LINERS: It makes no sense to worry about your level of stress. Bad politicians are elected by good citizens who do not vote. Just as I was catching up with the Joneses, they refinanced. Seen on a message board at my child's school: "Achieve Academic Excellents." If you ever find yourself in the presence of the Pope, be sure to sneeze. It is not what teenagers knows that bothers parents. It's how they found out. Our local hospital ran out of maternity nurses and had a mid-wife crisis. We've seen every budget cut except the salaries of elected officials. ============================= A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times? ============================= RIDDLE ANSWER: On a map. ============================= Have you seen this? =============================
top of page