TODAYS RIDDLE: Do you know what these seven verbs have in common: bring, buy, catch, fight, seek, teach, and think ? [ answer is at the bottom ] ============================= A man from Poland goes to the optometrist who shows him a card with the letters: "C Z W X N Q S T A C Z." "Can you read this?" the optometrist asks. "Read it?" He replies, "Heck, I know the guy!" ============================= ONE LINERS: If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? There is nothing more irritating that somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. Never buy anything with a handle on it - it means work. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop. The man who has his ups and downs is usually sitting on the aisle seat in the theatre. People who live in glass houses have to answer the door-bell. The grass on the other side of the fence may be greener, but it still has to be mowed once a week. The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs. The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before. One day a soap will be invented that does nothing more than get the dirt off. Maturity is acting your age, not your urge. Just when you hit bottom, someone hands you a shovel. Since life goes on you might as well get on with it. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either. There's nothing wrong with the young people of today that becoming a parent and a taxpayer won't cure. ============================= A rich woman was giving a garden party with many wealthy guests in attendance. While the party was going on, two gardeners were doing yard work on the rear lawn. While one of the guests was watching him, one of the gardeners suddenly jumped into the air and performed numerous graceful swirling dance movements. The guest remarked to his hostess, "That man is such a talented dancer, I'd pay him $100 to dance before my aerobics class!" When the hostess asked the head gardener about making such an arrangement, he yelled, "Hey Fred! Do you think for $100 you could step on that rake again?" ============================= New Company Policy When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during you lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid. ============================= Irritated Wife: What do you mean by coming home half drunk? Hubby: It's not my fault...I ran out of money. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex? Q. How may men does it take to change a light bulb? A. Five, one to force it with a hammer and four to take him to the emergency room. ============================= RIDDLE ANSWER: Their past tenses rhyme: brought, bought, caught, fought, sought, and thought. ============================= Have you seen this? =============================
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