Customer: Worcestershire sauce crisps please

Shopkeeper: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.

Customer: Oh right, Chinese Chicken Wings?

Shopkeeper: Ah that's the same , Cancer scare

Customer: Hamburger Relish?

Shopkeeper: Cancer scare

Customer: Sausage and Mash?

Shopkeeper: Cancer scare

Customer: Cottage Pie?

Shopkeeper: Yes, ...no wait, Cancer scare.

Customer: So they're all off the shelves because of a Cancer scare?

Shopkeeper: Yes

Customer: (sigh) Just give me a packet of fags then.

Shopkeeper: Certainly. £4.50 please.

Customer: Thanks

~~~

Pronounced Worcester, spelt Worcestershire.

http://www.users.waitrose.com/~cresby/songs/WorcestershireSauce.txt

WORSTERSHIRE SAUCE

It was found by Lord Sandy's, Lord Sandy's, Lord Sandy's,

Found by Lord San dy's so they do say.

Made by Lee & Perrins Lee & Perrins Lee & Perrins

Made by Lee & Per rins down Broad Street way.

That famouse Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire,

Fa i mouse Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire, sauce

It makes horse raddish, horse raddish, horse raddish,

Makes horse raddish taste empty & coarse.

It's sold the world over, world over, world over,

It's sold the world over, Here ford & all

Yes even in India, in India, in India, even in India

& its birth place Bengal

It's made with anchovies, anchovies, anchovies,

Made with anchovies, vinegar from the vault.

Shallots & spices & spices & spices

Shallots & spices, tamarinds & salt.

& then we add molasses, molasses, molasses,

then we add molasses, West Indies best.

Mattured in oak barrels, oak barrels, oak barrels,

Matured in oak barrels, to give it that zest.

Then also some hmm hmm & hmm hmm & hmm hmm

Also some hmm hmm, garlic as well.

The rest is a secret, a secret, a secret,

The rest is a secret we will not tell.

Because we are proud to & proud to & proud to

'cos we are proud to, be the work-force

Making Worstershire, Worstershire, Worstershire,

Making Worstershire, Worstershire, sauce.