Customer: Worcestershire sauce crisps please
Shopkeeper: Sorry can’t, it’s off the shelves, cancer scare.
Customer: Oh right, Chinese Chicken Wings?
Shopkeeper: Ah that’s the same , Cancer scare
Customer: Hamburger Relish?
Shopkeeper: Cancer scare
Customer: Sausage and Mash?
Shopkeeper: Cancer scare
Customer: Cottage Pie?
Shopkeeper: Yes, …no wait, Cancer scare.
Customer: So they’re all off the shelves because of a Cancer scare?
Shopkeeper: Yes
Customer: (sigh) Just give me a packet of fags then.
Shopkeeper: Certainly. £4.50 please.
Customer: Thanks
~~~
Pronounced Worcester, spelt Worcestershire.
http://www.users.waitrose.com/~cresby/songs/WorcestershireSauce.txt
WORSTERSHIRE SAUCE
It was found by Lord Sandy’s, Lord Sandy’s, Lord Sandy’s,
Found by Lord San dy’s so they do say.
Made by Lee & Perrins Lee & Perrins Lee & Perrins
Made by Lee & Per rins down Broad Street way.
That famouse Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire,
Fa i mouse Wors-ter-shire, Wors-ter-shire, sauce
It makes horse raddish, horse raddish, horse raddish,
Makes horse raddish taste empty & coarse.
It’s sold the world over, world over, world over,
It’s sold the world over, Here ford & all
Yes even in India, in India, in India, even in India
& its birth place Bengal
It’s made with anchovies, anchovies, anchovies,
Made with anchovies, vinegar from the vault.
Shallots & spices & spices & spices
Shallots & spices, tamarinds & salt.
& then we add molasses, molasses, molasses,
then we add molasses, West Indies best.
Mattured in oak barrels, oak barrels, oak barrels,
Matured in oak barrels, to give it that zest.
Then also some hmm hmm & hmm hmm & hmm hmm
Also some hmm hmm, garlic as well.
The rest is a secret, a secret, a secret,
The rest is a secret we will not tell.
Because we are proud to & proud to & proud to
‘cos we are proud to, be the work-force
Making Worstershire, Worstershire, Worstershire,
Making Worstershire, Worstershire, sauce.
~~
And another note:
Hello – Your site states (incorrectly) that it’s “Pronounced Worcester, spelt Worcestershire”.
Codswallop!
Worcester (pronounced ‘Wooster’) is a medium sized English town in the county of Worcestershire (pronounced ‘Wooster-Sheer’).
Lee and Perrins Worcestershire Sauce is just that… ‘Wooster-Sheer’ Sauce.
Only lazy ignorant people call it ‘Wooster’ Sauce.
I am English and I hate to see you Ozziebollox messing our language up. Get it right, cobbers!
~~
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