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Humor

Battle of the sexes

Back atcha.

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When does a woman care for a man’s company?
When he owns it.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.

Why do men get married?
So they don’t have to hold their stomachs in anymore.

What are a woman’s four favorite animals? A mink in the
closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and
an ass to pay for it all.

How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.

What did God say after creating Eve?
“Practice makes perfect.”

What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common? They’re married.

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their
way back to the house.

Why are married women heavier than single women? Single
women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the
fridge.

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
A widower.

Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?
He wouldn’t ask for directions.

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