Did anyone hear about the Irish haemophiliac who died after trying acupuncture?

Or about Mrs Cohen, who hurled herself onto the stage, disrupting a magnificent rendition of Verdi's "Aida" by the Australian Opera, shouting out: "Is there a doctor in the house?"

The orchestra collapsed into its own confusion, while the singers slumped to a ragged silence and the curtain fell.

A man stood up in the second row: "Yes, I'm a doctor."

"Ah!" she sighed: "Would you like to meet a nice Jewish girl?"