TODAYS RIDDLE:
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What is as long as theights of ten men and as strong as ten men's
strength but ten men working together could not make it stand on end?
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A rope. A rope can be as long as ten men are tall, and ten
men pulling it will not break it, but even ten men working
together can't make it stand on end.
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NEW INVENTIONS BY BLONDES
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-- The water-proof towel
-- Glow in the dark sunglasses
-- Submarine screen doors
-- A book on how to read.
-- Inflatable dart boards
-- A dictionary index.
-- Mechanical Pencil sharpeners
-- Powdered water
-- Pedal-powered wheel chairs
-- Waterproof tea bags
-- Watermelon seed sorter
-- Zero proof alcohol
-- Reuseable ice cubes
-- See-through toilet tissue
-- Skinless bananas
-- Do-it-yourself road map
-- Turnip ice cream
-- Toe implants
-- An all white flag
-- Rolls Royce pickup truck
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Pun WARNING!
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A friend and I were standing inside a building of a local theme
park. We were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.
The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris,
was a very small woman (4'10", 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough
time trying to not be blown away.
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My friend joked with the lady, telling her that she would have
to put heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.
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The lady looked at my friend and lisped, "You mean, ... now I
weigh me down to sweep?"
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Q. What's the most common cause of hearing loss in men?
A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.
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Quotes
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Mahatma Gandhi was what wives wish their husbands
were: thin, tan, and moral. (Unknown)

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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a
man is when he's a baby. (Natalie Wood)

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Of all the wild beasts of land or sea, the wildest is
woman. (Menander)

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Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal.
(Steve Rubenstein)

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Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambitiion.
(Timothy Leary)

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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them
but I would't want to own one. (W.C.Fields)

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One of those discount airlines recently had a
promotion where they offered free air-fare to
wives who accompanied their husbands on a business
trip. Seeking some valuable testimonials, the PR unit
of the airline sent out letters to the wives who took
advantage of the offer.
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I understand both written and telephoned responses
are still flooding their offices asking, "What trip?"
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ONELINERS:
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right and the other is the husband!
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Biblical warning for all accounting auditors:
"Beware of false profits."
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Middle age: when a guy turns off lights for
economical rather than romantic reasons.
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Why is the National Guard in Iraq and the
Army in New Orleans?
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
An onion a day should take care of everyone else.
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A wife says to her husband one weekend morning,
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"We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the
daily newspapers every morning."
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Her husband replied "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
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The wife responded, " But we've never subscribed
to any papers!"