TODAYS RIDDLE

You are enjoying your breakfast after having put some salt
on your scrambled eggs when your nerdy brother presents
you with an ice cube floating in a glass of water and a
short length of string. He challenges you to remove the
ice cube from the glass using the string without tying
any knots. What strategy do you use to remove the ice
cube from the water glass?

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Take the string and soak it in the water. Let the string
rest across the ice cube. Reach across the table and get
the salt that you used on your eggs; pour the salt over
the string and the ice cube. The salt causes the ice to
melt. However, when you stop pouring the salt, the water
that formed on the top of the cube will refreeze with the
string embedded in it. Now you can lift the ice cube with
the string.

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QUICKIES: [Thanks to Renee]

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The way to make the cold winter go fast is to sign a
note in October that becomes due in six months.
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You know you're living in 2005 when you've been
sitting at the same desk for five years and have
worked for three different companies.
________________
Robber: Give me the money, or you'll be geography.

Teller: You mean history.

Robber: Don't change the subject.
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I'm reading a murder mystery where they bury the guy
in cornstarch. I just got to the part where the plot thickens.
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After divorce, most men realize that poker isn't the only
game that starts with holding hands and ends with an
astounding financial loss.
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If you have twenty things to do in a day and nineteen of
them go well, which one do you talk about over dinner?
_______________

I saw that my low-fuel light was on, so I stopped and
got $10 worth of gas. And when I was done, I saw that
my low-fuel light was still on.
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It took a genius to develop an aspirin bottle that
couldn't be opened by a child capable of operating a
VCR.
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The difference between FEMA and Social Security:
You might actually live long enough to get benefits
from Social Security. ~ Jay Leno
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Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house,
Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't
get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife.
"Watch this."
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"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning,"
the neighbor began.
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"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but
the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
.
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf
clubs, mind if I borrow them?"
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Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise
look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"
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"That's quite all right," the woman replied. "You look
just like my fifth husband."
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"Wow!" he said. "How many times have you been married?"
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"Four," she answered.
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A man bought a parrot. It sat in its cage all day saying,
"Cracker want a polly. Cracker want a polly."
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The man's friend heard the bird and said,
"That bird is really stupid!"
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The owner said, "No, his name's Cracker, and he's very lonely."
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Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large
suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
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After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75
flights of stairs to get to their room.
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Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant
task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell
sad stories for the rest of the way."
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At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At
the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.
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"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!!!