It’s good to review these occasionally.

1. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

4. A day without sunshine is like…night.

5. The early bird may get the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese from the trap.

6. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

7. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

10. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

11. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

12. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

13. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

14. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

15. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

16. 99.9 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

17. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

19. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

20. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

23. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened?

25. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates…. it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

26. Just remember – if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

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