TODAYS RIDDLE :
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What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?


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Chicago.


3/7 chicken= CHI
2/3 cat = CA
1/2 goat= GO


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The Devil and Jesus decide that they are going to have a
computer-programming contest. God counts down. . . 3, 2, 1,
Go! and they begin typing and programming furiously.
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.After a while, a tremendous lightning flash and thunder
erupt and the power goes off and the contest is stopped.
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After power is restored, God asks to see what the Devil
has programmed and the Devil responds, "C'mon God,
the power went out we lost everything."
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God walks over to Jesus' computer and asks to see what
he has done and Jesus hits a key and glorious graphics
scroll across the screen and a multimedia routine kicks
in and the Devil just looks on dumbfounded.
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He asks how could that be, the power went off.
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God replied, "Jesus saves!"
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Many years ago I was performing a theatre in
Richmond, VA and I was backstage in the actor's
rest room , standing, you know where, doing my thing.
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I noticed some graffiti that someone had written on
the wall. It said, "Jesus Saves!"
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Someone had added, in a different handwriting, just
below that statement, "Moses Invests!"
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Practical Purposes :
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In a high school gym class, all the girls are lined
up against one wall, and all the boys against the
opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk toward
each other only half the remaining distance between
them.
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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked,
"When will the girls and boys meet?"
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Mathematician: "Never."
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Physicist: "In an infinite amount of time."
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Engineer: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be
close enough for all practical purposes."
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No Problem :
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A friend and I were driving to a mall when we came
to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed
to one lane, with a light at either end. We stopped
at the red light on our side, and when it turned green,
we started up again.
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Halfway through, we met another car coming toward us.
The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't
back up for idiots!"
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Putting the car into reverse, my friend called back,
"No problem! I do!"
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Public Servant :
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"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
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The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant."
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The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked.
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"Sure," said the young student confidently. "Means carrying
a child."
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Each evening bird lover Tom Rowe stood in his
backyard in Devon, England, hooting like an owl
and one night, an owl called back to him.
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For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted
back and forth.
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Rowe even kept a log of the "conversation."
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Just as Rowe thought he was on the verge of a
breakthrough in inter-species communication,
his wife had a chat with next door neighbour,
Nancy Hollis. "My husband spends his nights...
calling out to owls," said Mrs. Rowe.
..
"That's odd," Mrs. Hollis replied. "So does my
John."
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Then it dawned on them.