I am the very model of a modern parish minister;

My versatile efficiency seems positively sinister,

With youth I’m awfully jolly, and with older folk refined.

I’m a staunch denominationalist, yet ecumenically inclined.

I’m very much au fait in matters modern theological -

The ‘myths’ of Genesis 1 correlate with dogmas geological.

I am chummy with the Rotary, and with women’s groups the same.

I present the social gospel in a way that brings no shame.

I polish resolutions up for all assemblies solemn,

And for the local paper write a brightly pious column.

I can publicize a triumph and soft-pedal a disaster.

I am the very model of the dynamic modern pastor.

I am up-to-date in Culture; about Art I wax rhapsodical.

In church administration I’m fantastically methodical.

I am very good at counselling and I preach a snappy sermon;

And stewardship potentials I can skillfully determine.

I was learned in liturgies and I’m ceremonially adept,

Yet the bounds of taste and safety I have never overstepped.

My versatile efficiency is positively sinister -

I am the very model of the modern parish minister.

(Origin unknown. A note in an old Expository Times says it comes ofrom a ‘religious weekly’ over the initials ‘M. S. P.’)

~~~

I am the very model of a modern Evangelical – http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/17157.htm

And a few others! (Including ‘trendy faux bisexuals’, ‘scientologists’, ‘Unitarians’ and many more…)

http://www.luxumbradei.com/parody/piratesidx.html

* Shalom! Rowland Croucher * * http://jmm.aaa.net.au/ * (17,000+ articles, 4000 clean jokes/stories)

http://victoriaconcordiacrescit.blogspot.com/ *

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