TODAYS RIDDLE :

Although much water you see, by definition, "desert" fits me.

In the winter I double in size, but staying away is a word for the wise.

I am very windy, that is a clue, What am I? Good luck to you.

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Antarctica.

. ========================== . The young woman really thought she'd been very patient through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. . One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. . As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So . . . how do you like your rice? Boiled? Or fried?" . Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown." . ========================== . I was commuting from the Borough of Queens to my job in Manhattan. I'd finished reading the morning paper and was saving it to bring to friends on the job. . How do you save a newspaper on the subway? You sit on it. . A new commuter came in, saw the newspaper under my rear end and asked the second most stupid question I've ever heard, "Are you reading that paper?" . I stood up, turned the page, sat right back down on the paper and answered, "Yes." . ========================== . Johnny was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. . He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. . "Johnny, I will not continue till you put you hand over your heart." . Johnny replied, "It is over my heart." . After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?" . "Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie." . ========================== . He's 80, She's 20. It was the stir of the town when an eighty year old man married a twenty year old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth. . The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying: "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running." . The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said: "You are truly amazing, How do you do it?" He again said: "You've got to the keep the old motor running" . The same thing happened the next year. The nurse then said: "Well, well, well!! You certainly are quite a man!" He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running." . The nurse then said: "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black" . ========================== . A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. . "Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOODNESS! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! . Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! . We need more butter. Oh my GOODNESS! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? . They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! . Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! . The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" . The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.