14may06

When I see God, he has a lot of explaining to do -- Mother Teresa

THE true tale of the sparrow that paid with its life after almost ruining a world-record attempt got me thinking. The little bird knocked over 23,000 of more than four million dominoes laid out for an attempt to break the domino-toppling record at a hall in the Netherlands.

The sparrow was then cornered by angry organisers and shot with an air rifle.

I wondered whether God felt pain at the death.

According to a Christian parable, not one sparrow will fall without God knowing about it. Jesus went on to say that we are worth much more than sparrows and God knows every hair on our heads.

The sparrow, and the place of God in the world, came to mind when our tiny grandson became desperately ill recently. At these times, you feel helpless and sometimes hopeless.

A wise friend told me: "We can only ever be as happy as our unhappiest child." I thought that was a profound truth.

The only thing we could do was pray and have faith that God was in control.

It then occurred to me that our deepest human worries are that either God does not exist or, if he does, that we have fallen off his radar screen.

We live, as Thoreau put it, "lives of quiet desperation" unless we can sense something beyond sight and human understanding.

But does God really take note each time a sparrow falls from the sky -- or each time there is an injustice on this planet?

Is it possible that when someone we love suffers greatly that God weeps as well?

A close friend suffered from cancer. In the months before his death, many throughout the world prayed that God would heal him physically. What happened instead was an almost indescribable spiritual healing.

But none of his friends could comprehend why someone so young, so talented, so special could die in the face of so much prayer.

Author Tony Campolo wrote of a friend who stopped coming to church after his son died of leukemia. Campolo advised him not to stop believing in God because of what had happened.

The man said he still believed in God. The reason he quit church was because he hated God for not healing his son.

"I told the man that when his son died, God was the first one who cried," said Campolo.

It's a mystery. I don't believe God is the author of sickness and death. But I don't know why God sometimes physically heals and sometimes does not.

But I do believe God is with us in the midst of the painful realities of this life and that keeps me praying. And believing.

Tony Campolo said he wished every church would pray over the sick in God's name.

He wrote of praying for a man dying of cancer. Three weeks later the man died.

His wife said before he had walked into Campolo's church, her husband was angry with God.

At night he would lie in bed and curse God for letting him have cancer. And he was mean to everyone around him.

The wife said after being prayed for, her husband changed. The last three weeks together were the best of their marriage, she said.

"Tony, he wasn't cured, but he was healed," she told Campolo.

Faith is not certitude and doubt is part of the walk. There are times when we all wonder whether the Christian story can possibly be true.

Theologian Karl Rahner said God isn't hidden. We just don't have the eyes to see God because our eyes aren't attuned to that kind of reality.

The only tangible clue we have is in the vision of a father creator who loved his son, but allowed him to die to save the rest of us.

If that's the reality, the God of the sparrows cares for my grandson even more than I can.

That's another mystery. But as Jesus said: "Don't be afraid. Everything that is hidden will one day be revealed."

So I will continue to pray and hope for my grandson and remember that faith is the assurance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen.

As the old song says: "I will not fear. For God's eye is on the sparrow, so I know God watches me."

Bryan Patterson