TODAYS RIDDLE :

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, "I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed."

The rich man laughs.

The poor man says, "I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it."

The rich man laughs again and says, "OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?" The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?

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"Happy Birthday." . ========================== . The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic.

Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday. One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, "Mom, can we go home now?"

"No honey, not yet," replied the mother, "the Mass is only half over."

"Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish." . ========================== . Sue Grafton: If high-heels were so wonderful, men would wear them. ======= Researchers at Johns Hopkins announced an incredible breakthrough in shoe science. Solving a puzzle that has eluded scientists for decades, they reported that it's the left sandal that's the flip, and the right sandal is the flop. --Craig Kilborn ======= "If you want to forget all your troubles, wear shoes that are too tight. --Anon . ========================== . A lady took her friend to get her car from the mechanic. When her friend came out she asked her, "Is everything okay with your car now?"

Her friend said, "Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that the mechanic might try to take advantage of me, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was twenty dollars worth of blinker fluid." . ========================== . A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed.

"You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly. "I married your sister." . ========================== . A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible." . The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."