An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.

“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.

“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 95.”

. ==========================

. The best way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror because the restaurant will throw you out before you can eat too much.

—————————————————-

What does it mean when all the socks in the laundry match, with none left over? You’re now losing them in pairs! . ==========================

. Alone Again :

Husband to wife: “I’m feeling so depressed today.”

Wife: “Why, Honey?”

Husband: “It’s just that sometimes I feel so alone and useless.”

Wife: “Oh, you don’t have to feel so alone. A lot of people think you’re useless.”

. ==========================

. The bank manager noticed the new clerk was an idiot at counting money and adding up figures.

“Where did you get your finance education?” he asked.

“Yale,” replied the lad.

“And what’s your name?” barked the manager.

“Yim Yohnston,” he replied

. ==========================

. A man went to his lawyer and said, “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.”

The lawyer said, “No problem, leave it all to me.”

“Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I’d like to leave a little to my children too!”.

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