DRIVE THROUGH ATM PROCEDURES
A sign in the lobby in an American bank reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.


2. Put down your car window.


3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.


4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.


5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.


6. Put window up.


7. Drive off.




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FEMALE PROCEDURE:




1. Drive up to cash machine.


2. Reverse and back up, pull forward, back up and so forth and Repeat as
many times as required to align car window with the ATM.


3. Set parking brake. Put the window down.


4. Find handbag, remove all contents and place on passenger seat to locate bank card.


5. Tell person you've been speaking to on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.


6. Attempt to insert card into machine.


7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.


8. Insert card in ATM.


9. Re-insert card the right way with magnetic strip pointing the way the little picture indicates.


10. Dig through handbag and examine each receipt to see if PIN # is written there. Finally, search through your Address Book to find your PIN written on the inside of the back page.


11. Enter PIN into ATM.


12. Press Cancel and re-enter correct PIN.


13. Enter amount of cash required.


14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.


15. Retrieve cash and receipt.


16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.


17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.


18. Re-check makeup.


19. Drive forward 2 feet.


20. Reverse back to cash machine.


21. Retrieve card.


22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.


23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.


24. Re-start stalled engine and pull off.


25. Re-dial person on cell phone.


26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.


27. Release Parking Brake.