The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer." The apprentice did just as he told. Now he's the village blacksmith.... . ========================== . A 55-year old man, who was born on May 5th, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, and who's lucky number is 5, receives a phonecall from a friend.

The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.

Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.55 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth! . ========================== . Out Of Touch :

I've got 3 TVs, cable, & a satellite dish; I have 3 phone lines in the house, a cell phone & one in the car, plus a pager. I use 2 computers, 3 ISPs and a fax. I subscribe to two daily papers & one weekly one. I watch both the local & network news every evening. And my kids have the nerve to tell me I'm out of touch. . ========================== . My husband, Robert, and I were watching television the first Saturday evening in April.

When he went to bed, I stayed up to see the end of a program.

Before retiring, I turned the clocks ahead for Daylight Saving time.

The next morning, the alarm wakened us for Sunday School. When we arrived, it was still dark and no one was there.

"I can't imagine what's wrong," I said. "I turned the clocks ahead."

"So did I," Robert quietly replied. . ========================== . Which One?

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try to guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch. They all chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one in the middle."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" asks the son.

"I don't like her." says the mother.