We urge you.... to admonish the idlers, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

You won't relate lovingly to others until you affirm their uniqueness. They, too, are who they are as a result of the mix of verbal inputs into their lives by significant others, plus the accidents of life they have experienced, plus their own success or otherwise in determining to become a whole person.

The Christian approach here is simple, and it works: pray to your and their Creator God for a

gift of love: to view the other as one precious to God and made in his image. You can't pray this prayer sincerely for too long without beginning to appreciate the other!

And be honest. One of the great sicknesses of our time is affability. We are so nice to each other it's sickening. We play games to cover our true feelings. Rather than 'walking in the light' we leave one another to stumble in the darkness about who we are and they are.

So learn 'win-win' conflict resolution skills, and follow this advice: 'Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.' (Marcel Proust once said, 'The one thing more difficult than following a regimen is not imposing it on others').

Lord if 'an honest person is your noblest work', help me to be pure, honest, and loving towards others. Amen.