In everything do to others as you would have them do to you. (Matthew 7:12) Forgive, if you have anything against anyone. (Mark 11:25)

In the brilliant film 'Kramer vs. Kramer' the divorced father has to explain to his five-yearold son that he's just lost the custody battle between himself and the boy's mother. Soon the child will be going to live with her. The little boy sobs out what for him are questions of ultimate concern: 'Where will I sleep? Where will I put my toys? Why can't I stay with you too?'

The movie is about three people. Two grown-ups a man and a woman - have needs that aren't being met by the other. Their little boy, therefore, has to have his life messed up too. Where does such a vicious circle begin? Why is it not possible for humans to live together without conflict? What can we do to stop the chain reaction of grief being handed on to another generation?

Here's an idea for marrieds: make a date with your partner about the time of the month you were married, and ask each other: 'Who can I be for you?' Listen to the response without interrupting! But in your response first list some things you're thankful for in the relationship. And don't dump too much on your partner all at once!

My deep desire is for intimacy with another, Lord. But selfconsciousness gets in the way. Please help me/us. Amen.