* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
* If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
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