Jesus' life both burned and shone. Sometimes he was tough, sometimes tender... Just yesterday our family had to ask a homeless, dollar-less person to leave, after being with us on-and-off for a month. She's been a friend for twenty-five years, and has regularly stayed in our home, but it was time for her to make it on her own. She did not like it, but we had to be firm. Why would we 'toss someone out' like this? Because we love her, that's why. Some need 'tough love', others 'tender love'.

(By the way, we found an alternative place for her, a church to underwrite the first two weeks' rent and meals and a pastoral chaplain to help sort out her affairs).

For many humans, the desire to help others is a subtle (perhaps unconscious) ploy to invade their space to satisfy some of our own needs. We 'need to be needed'. The love we give is 'need love' not 'gift love'. Was it Thoreau who said 'When you see someone coming towards you with the obvious intent of doing you good run for your life.' And C S Lewis wrote about a lady who 'went around doing good: you could tell those she did good to by their hunted look.' Some peoplehelpers want to be 'little messiahs', saving everyone from themselves. Helping others gives them a 'high' because they're addicted to it.

Lord, help me to know when to be tough, and when to be tender. Amen.

WHEN HELPING IS NOT APPROPRIATE

Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2.

People need people. We are in this world only once, and we ought to be helpful here, as well as being decorative! We must try to develop the skill of knowing when it is appropriate to be helpful, and when we can best help by leaving a person (or a crowd) alone.

I love the statement in Luke 5:15,16, which describes the crowds which followed Jesus to be taught and healed, 'but he would withdraw to deserted places and pray.' He knew when it was best for others to leave them alone; and when it was best for his own emotional and spiritual nurturing to enjoy solitude with his Father-God.

The crowds wanted to listen to Jesus, and to be healed by him. It would have fed his ego rather than their real needs if he'd stayed. So he left them, untaught and unhealed... Think about that!

I have so much energy to use in giving to others - but not an inexhaustible amount. Help me Lord to figure out when I am about to use up the store I have, and then retreat for prayer and selfrenewing. But on the other hand, perhaps there are ways of accruing more energy? May I discover the fine balance here. Amen. ]