Q: What's the hardest thing about playing golf with your wife?

A: Having to say, "Great shot, Honey!" 142 times

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My wife Carol and I were visiting her 95-year-old grandfather when he asked us to take him to buy a new hat. Carol took me aside. "I'm worried that he doesn't have enough money, and he'll be very embarrassed," she said. So I asked the salesperson to tell my wife's grandfather that whichever hat he chose cost $15. I would pay the difference.

Grandpa picked out a $60 hat and was charged $15. After he left, I paid the other $45. Later he said, "What a bargain! The last one I bought there cost me $60.

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I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance. She leaned over and pushed me!

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One-Liners :

If at first you don't succeed, re-define success.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people!

It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.

Turning the other cheek ensures two bruised cheeks.

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A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you *idiot*!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"

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http://www.gift4grandchildren.com

http://www.ishopint.com/mall.asp?ID=shoponline

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If you would like to be included on my "clean humor" list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with "=Include Me=" as the Subject. I do not write the jokes. I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is good for the immune system.

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