"Irish Proverbs"

A kind word never broke anyone's mouth.


A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.


It is better to be born lucky than rich.


A lie travels farther than the truth.


An old broom knows the dirty corners best.


Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.


A friend's eye is a good mirror.


It's no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.


God is good, but never dance in a small boat.


Even a small thorn causes festering.


Marriages are all happy its having breakfast together that causes all the trouble.


Every dog is brave on his own doorstep.
You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind.


Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.


You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
~~~
"Going Deaf"
Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.
"What's wrong, Seamus?" Joey-Jim asked.
"Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.
"Ah, praise the Almighty!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"