After his suffering he presented himself alive to them by many convincing proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. Acts 1:3.

Physical resurrections aren't common, so I for one don't blame Jesus' disciple Thomas for doubting the reality of Jesus' conquest of death. 'We have seen the Lord' some of the others told him. Thomas retorted: 'Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe!' (John 20:25).

And yet - full credit to him - when Jesus appeared to Thomas and convinced him, Thomas uttered the greatest affirmation about who Jesus really was in all of Scripture: 'My Lord and my God!'

Doubts, questions, uncertainties, skepticisms face every honest enquirer after truth. The capacity to doubt is one of God's greatest gifts to us. Without doubt there would be no discovery, no progress; we would all simply accept what we're told, and live comfortably with the status quo.

Lord Jesus Christ, if I doubt, at least help me to be an honest doubter, seeking truth rather than merely trying to be clever. Amen.

POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DOUBT

When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Matthew 28:17.

Pascal, the 17th century French thinker, wrote in his Pensees: If you know God but do not know your own misery, you will become proud. If you know your own misery but do not know God, you will end in despair.

So, to paraphrase another beautiful bit of wisdom from Pascal: If you cannot be Christian, at least be honest. There are two kinds of people we can call reasonable: those who serve God with all their heart because they know him, and those who seek him with all their heart because they do not know him.

There's nothing wrong with doubt, provided it's the right kind of doubt. Negative doubt is cynical, not wanting to come to a knowledge of the truth. Constructive doubt can lead to faith. The opposite of faith is not doubt but unbelief. Doubt is 'can't believe'; unbelief is 'won't believe'. Doubt is honest; unbelief is obstinate. Doubt is the process of looking for light; unbelief is content with darkness.

St. Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, put things in the right order when he said, Credo ut intelligam, 'I believe in order that I may understand.'

Lord, I continue to ask all sorts of questions to which I find no answer. The light given to me is not nearly all I could desire. But perhaps it is all I really need. Lord, I have not seen you physically, but I believe. Amen.

EVIDENCES OF HIS REALITY

Jesus said [to Thomas], 'Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.' John 20:29.

There can never be anything like 'blind faith' for intelligent people. God doesn't expect you to believe without question something outside your experience.

That's why he invades our history with evidences of his reality. To the Israelites he revealed himself in mighty miraculous works. To us he has come in the reality of Jesus, who lived among us, told us what God is really like, died and was buried, and came alive again.

When Jesus said to Thomas 'Blessed are those who have not seen me and yet have come to believe' he was not putting Thomas down for wanting solid evidence. He was simply saying that, when the Holy Spirit comes, the reality of his work in our lives and minds will be different. We can have an inner assurance that is of a different order to Thomas' need for concrete reality.

Lord, you have given me your Spirit to confirm your reality within my spirit, to teach me your truth, to lead me in your way, and to generate faith hope and love in my life. I surrender! Amen.

THE ORIGINS OF DOUBT (1)

Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. Mark 11:23.

Doubt has three origins: insecurity, instability, or integrity.

# Insecurity: There are some people who are 'temperamental doubters'. They are negative thinkers who always see the dark side of everything. They find it easier to doubt than believe, to be negative rather than positive, to be cynical rather than affirmative. Some with an inferiority complex may try to parade their intelligence by questioning everything and believing nothing. Others seem to get a kick out of upsetting the simple faith of earnest believers.

Some use doubt as a cover-up for their own guilt. A professor said to Billy Graham, 'I have long said that there were intellectual difficulties to my becoming a Christian. This isn't true. The difficulties are moral. I'm not prepared to accept the moral demands of Christ.' This kind of doubt is really dishonest a failure to look hard at the evidence because the doubter doesn't want to discover the truth. I have met many intellectuals who are very insecure - albeit clever - people, who use their doubts as a cover-up to opt out of the struggle for faith.

Lord God, if ever I am in bondage to self-doubt, and am fearful about knowing the truth which would set me free, please release me from this burden, so that I may be uncluttered in my search for your reality. Amen.

THE ORIGINS OF DOUBT (2)

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11.

A second cause of doubt is instability. A university student wrote to his pastor. He explained that a year before he had a strong faith, and actually wanted to be a preacher.

That was in his last year of high school. But now - 'Philosophy 1 and no God, let alone Christianity.' He explained at great length how none of the philosophical arguments for the existence of God hold water. He attacked many of the traditional doctrines of Christianity...

Part of growing up is leaving behind the unexamined assumptions of childhood (and maybe Sunday school). Piaget, a psychologist, says adolescents begin to think differently they move from 'concrete thinking' to an ability to think 'formally' or 'abstractly'. Children can draw God. Adults can conceptualize God as omnipresent Spirit...

Paul was referring to this when he said that the way a child thinks and an adult should think are quite different. The challenge for 'grown-ups' is to shed childish concepts while remaining 'childlike'.

Lord Jesus, said I can't enter God's realm unless I am childlike. But deliver me from childishness in that process. Help me to be simple, without being too simplistic. Amen.

THE ORIGINS OF DOUBT (3)

It is God alone who has immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see; to him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen. 1 Timothy 6:16.

A young man came up to the well-known American preacher Harry Emerson Fosdick, and confessed with some distress - that he no longer believed in God. 'So you are an atheist,' said Fosdick. 'Describe to me the kind of God you don't believe in.' The youth then outlined the childish ideas about God in whom he could no longer believe. 'My boy,' said Fosdick, 'that makes two of us. I don't believe in that God either.'

A third origin for doubt is integrity. There is more genuine faith in the person who insists on being sure, than in the one who has never really thought out their beliefs. It is not wrong, or sinful, to doubt. We mustn't be afraid to challenge long-held beliefs. The only faith that is worthwhile is that which is not afraid to question anything. Nothing is too sacred for honest analysis. Doubt which springs from integrity is very healthy.

So help me Lord to figure out where my doubts originate, and to move in my thinking towards integrity. Thank you that for so many over the years the Christian good news has pierced their darkness and mystery with a convincing ray of light. Amen.

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR DOUBTS (1)

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed driven to despair. 2 Corinthians 4:8.

There are four things we can do with our doubts:

(1) Admit them. If your doubts are real it's stupid to admit they're not there. They won't just run away. They'll continue to lurk in the shadows of your mind. But when we honestly face our doubts, often they're not so terrible; when examined in the light of day, they turn out to be only harmless shadows. To pretend you've never had any doubts is to be mindless (or a hypocrite). I once heard of a preacher who couldn't face his doubts. In the margin of his sermon notes he'd write 'Point weak - shout!'

(2) Examine them. The unexamined life is not worth living. Christianity is making some remarkable claims, when you think about them. Like, only one human of the thousands of megalomaniacs who've claimed to be God is actually right! His friends claim he came back to life after being truly dead. He will come again to wrap up history...

There are various books by lawyers and others who couldn't swallow these preposterous claims, and set out to examine the evidence... and were convinced! The strength of Christian evidences may surprise you.

I ask for the gift of honesty, Lord. And once I am convinced about the basic evidences for Christianity, help me to move on from there. Amen.

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR DOUBTS (2)

We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 2 Corinthians 4:8.

Two more pieces of advice about your doubts:

(3) Discuss them. Don't fight your battles alone. There are some old campaigners around who'd be delighted to help you do battle with your doubts. And in every university there are full professors who are humble Christians - and who have worked through the same doubts you're facing. Read some good books about the Christian faith. There is a book to answer your question!

(4) Suspend them. If, after all your efforts, nagging doubts remain, put them into a little compartment at the back of your head labeled 'To be investigated later.' If you're honest, you won't be bogged down in what you can't believe, but will act on what you can believe. The great philosopher Descartes did that, and worked his way right back to Cogito, ergo sum - I think, therefore I am. Starting with that assumption, he came eventually to believe in God.

In all of life I operate by faith - when I sit on a chair, or take an elevator, or drive in a car, or eat a meal. So help me Lord in the realm of the spirit to live by faith too. Amen.

IF YOU DOUBT SOMETIMES, YOU'RE IN GOOD COMPANY!

One thing I know, that though I was blind, now I see. John 9:25.

A great American preacher of a generation ago, Harry Emerson Fosdick, once preached a sermon on 'The Importance of Doubting Your Doubts'. In it he listed several great Christians who were plagued by doubt:

'What a radiant Christian faith [William Lyon Phelps] had. But listen to him in his autobiography: 'My religious faith remains in possession of the field only after prolonged civil war with my naturally sceptical mind.' That experience belongs in the best tradition of the great believers. John Knox, the Scottish Reformer - what a man of conviction! Yes, but remember that time when his soul knew 'anger, wrath and indignation, which it conceived against God, calling all his promises in doubt.' Increase Mather - that doughty Puritan - what a man of faith! Yes, but read his diary and run on entries like this: 'Greatly molested with temptations to atheism.' Sing Luther's hymn, 'A Mighty Fortress is our God,' and one would suppose he never questioned his faith, but see him in other hours. 'For more than a week,' he wrote, 'Christ was wholly lost. I was shaken by desperation and blasphemy against God.'

'[I write] for the encouragement of someone struggling with unbelief... The noblest faith of the church has come out of that struggle. You don't really possess the Christian faith until you have fought for it.'

[Harry Emerson Fosdick, 'The Importance of Doubting our Doubts' in What is Vital in Religion, London: SCM Press, 1956, pp. 92-93.]

Inscrutable, mysterious and wonderful God, I trust you! Amen.