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Humor

Fisherman

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TODAYS RIDDLE :

Decipher the following rebus:

GOT GOT GOT GOT HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES

/\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/

Forgotten Heroes! Four “got” ten “heroes”

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Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”

“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”

“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”

“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.”

“But why?”

“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.”

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A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart, which contained, among other things, a screaming baby. As the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept repeating softly, “Keep calm, George. Don’t get excited, George. Don’t yell, George.”

A lady watched with admiration and then said, “You are certainly to be commended for your patience in trying to quiet little George.”

“Lady,” he declared, “I’M George!”

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One-Liners :

Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.

One good turn gets most of the blanket.

For most men there are three stages of hair: parted, unparted, and… departed.

Happiness : a combination of good health and a bad memory.

It was such a small town that we didn’t even have a village idiot. We had to take turns.

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A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

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When an applicant asked if the company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, “Oh, our employees don’t need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, wading through paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!”

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