Old Sean lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Mick, who used to help him, was in an English prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Mick,

I am feeling a mite down because it looks like I won’t be able to plant me spuds this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

For CHRIST’S SAKE, don’t dig up the garden! That’s where I buried all the feckin’ BODIES!

Love, Mick

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden down to a depth of about six feet. That evening, not finding any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left.

The next day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant yer spuds now. It’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Mick

****

Reminds me of the one where the guy’s shed was being burgled.

He phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

He waited a couple of minutes and rang again. “Hello,” he said, “I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don’t have to worry now, because I’ve shot them.”

Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: “I thought you said you’d shot them.”

To which he replied: “I thought you said there was no one available.”

****

Two irishmen was trying to measure the local flagpole after having a bet on how high it was, they were having a problem because either one could not climb the flagpole – they were stumped, just then a blonde walking past asked what was wrong, Paddy said they couldn’t climb the pole to hold the tape measure to see how high it was. ‘Oh that’s easy,’ she said ‘Just lay the flagpole down’ [ which they did ]… She measured and said ’36 foot long easy’ and she went on her way. Paddy looked around to his mate and said ‘The silly cow… we wanted the height not the length.’

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