(From the acerbic/hard-hitting mind/keyboard of a theologically liberal U. S. Episcopalian priest)

Oct. 7, 2007

Breath of Fresh Air or Drivel?

By Harry T. Cook

The Episcopal Bishop of Washington, D.C., has now handed down his critique of last week's j'accuse essay ("Drivel," he called it) - a piece in which I took him and his prelatial colleagues to task for pretending to boldness in the matter of fending off interference from fundamentalists who demand that the American church marginalize the GLBT community. Bishop John Chane has written that I am "uninformed" and my essay "just plain offensive."

His Grace also says that I only pretend to be a journalist. He would be right, were it not for my 14-year tenure as a reporter, editor and columnist at the Detroit Free Press, six years prior to that as editor of a diocesan newspaper and long-time professional writer for many a journal and the author of five books. But never mind.

Chane and his colleagues in conclave assembled last month in New Orleans merely reiterated to the Anglican world their meek promise that its members would allow no one to be consecrated a bishop "whose manner of life presents a challenge to the wider church and will lead to further strains on communion" - meaning, of course, the likes of the Bishop of New Hampshire. That must have been a wonderful occasion for Gene Robinson - to hear his name and reputation essentially dissed by his episcopal colleagues.

With only one dissenting vote, the bishops also promised they would not approve liturgies for the blessing of same-sex unions, which must have been peachy news for the many GLBT members of the Episcopal Church - not to mention Bishop Robinson and his partner, who have said they would like to make their union official.

Bishop Chane says my "drivel does nothing to foster the efforts to move forward with full inclusion of gay and lesbian persons in the life of the Episcopal Church." His point seems to be that if the American church presses too hard for its GLBT people, such folk in what he calls "the global community" will suffer. He says they depend on the American church for support - meaning, I guess, that if the Episcopal Church U.S.A. is expelled from the Anglican Communion, they will be left without an advocate.

A reader of last week's essay responded to that argument in this way: "The House of Bishops can best relieve the severe plight of [GLBT people] throughout the Communion by speaking the truth boldly. The doublespeak in the New Orleans statement is straight out of Orwell's Animal Farm: 'All animals are equal: Some are more equal than others.' "

That reader is not alone. You can go to the guestbook page of http://www.harrytcook.com and see similar kinds of responses. Here are samples of the e-mails that have arrived since the posting of last week's essay:

From a reader who identified himself as a member of the clergy: "What a breath of fresh air!"

From a reader in Christ Church, New Zealand: "It's not that your point is so profound; it's obvious and your grasp on it most keen. It's that those bishops of yours don't see it."

From a reader in Sydney, Australia: "Please! Do the bishops (the word is supposed to mean 'those who can see over,' right?) up there have no respect for the intelligence of their flocks? How is what they said a rejection of what the fundies are demanding?"

From a reader in Ontario, Canada: "People in the States say our food is bland-to-awful. I say your bishops' pronouncements make our pabulum positively piquant."

From a reader in Michigan: "These guys have no stomach for the truth. Wait until that lesbian priest from Ohio gets elected as the Bishop of Chicago. Then they'll have a choice between doing what is right [or]

being even bigger fools."

From a reader in California: "Thank you for speaking the truth. It's so obvious, but not to the bishops. They are trying to fool us into thinking that they are statesman-like. Wrong! There is nothing statesman-like about their waffling."

And finally, this from a reader in Michigan (a priest, no less): "Those mice in the House of Bishops fear nothing so much as they fear being left out of next year's Lambeth Conference and the opportunity to kiss Her Majesty's hand."

What the reader meant is that in every year ending in 8, bishops from across the Anglican Communion are invited by the Archbishop of Canterbury to his palatial seat at Lambeth. Part of those jollies entails tea with Queen Elizabeth II.

Bishops generally love that perk, apparently not realizing that the tea party is right out of some Gilbert & Sullivan farce. Thus, with a nod to those geniuses of comic opera, I offer this shameless riff on their oft-quoted song, "I've Got a Little List." Feel free to sing along.

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list; I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed - who never would be missed.

There's the prelate in his vestments who preaches through his hat, All clerics who pound pulpits and otherwise stand pat, All parsons who would speak for God and minister the rod Are digging for themselves and us a place beneath the sod - Why, they never would be missed - they'd none of them be missed.

There is Peter Akinola and his U.S. copycats, The finger-wagging moralist whose nagging drives us bats, And all that sort of you-know-what, and also you-know-who Is making of old Mother Church a frigging ballyhoo - Thus it doesn't really matter whom you put upon the list, They'd none of them be missed - they'd none of them be missed.

© Copyright 2007, Harry T. Cook. All rights reserved. This article may not be used or reproduced without proper credit.