I read an article "Single Women and the Church" with great interest. I live in UK and am a 63 year old widow - fit and active, with many interests including research, photography etc. I belonged to C.E. church (have also been in R.C.) and in both churches have experienced exclusion, being treated almost like a prostitute, being felt marginalised etc etc., with none of my talents being recognised or wanted. Not one of the leaders, elders, vicar, priest etc from the church will visit my house. I have voiced my concerns to the C.E. church with no effect, except they did organise a single women's party last New Years Eve - excluding us even more by partition. I have even written to two local bishops about the situation - again, no results - one telling me that he didn't know how to respond!

Recently I went to Khartoum as part of my research for writing an historical book on Sudan - and was the church interested? - no, of course not! I had never been abroad before or flown before, making many severe cut-backs for two years and getting rid of my car to fund the trip, and they didn't even pray for me before I went, or show any interest when I came back - a few individuals did, but not the "official" church. I was already quite stressed before going, and I was absolutely mortified - But they did show a great interest in young folk going to Kenya! I am learning Arabic - and is the church interested? - no of course not! They even struggled to read my written prayers out in church for Khartoum and for the wonderful muslims I met there who had been so supportive.

There is no affirmation of one's talents, attributes etc - only married couples with money are recognised. In 2004 I got a BSc Degree in Conservation Biology (Hons) - and there was no recognition... but there was recognition for the young folk doing school exams!

It is very frustrating and extremely upsetting. Single women, unless they are wealthy and very pushy, and have status jobs (which excludes me - I was a school caretaker!!) do not have a voice within the church. Even the church warden resigned and left the church telling me that "the likes of us will never have a voice in the church". I left soon afterwards and don't go to any church now.

As a single person I live on my own - and, living on a pension, have to do everything for myself - it is almost as though they despise a woman who can stand on her own two feet without relying or leaning on a man! I even have to uncork my own bottles of wine - can you imagine! And do all my own decorating, tiling, making garden furniture, laying patios - God forbid a woman who can do all that without a man!! The married men in church get decorators/builders etc in.

If I didn't have my personal inner faith which gives me fantastic inner strength I would go under.

As I said, I read your article with great interest, and would like to be in contact with other women in the same position, perhaps if many women world-wide get together we could have a voice.

I would very much like to hear from you.

With very good wishes Mary marykeenan44[at]hotmail.com

(Note: We don't normally put email addresses here - even coded ones. This article is published with the consent of the author: she would like to hear from others with similar experiences. Rowland.).