TODAYS RIDDLE :

Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Fu (--) am

Ed (--) ar

Dit (--) urch

Ju (--) eam

Ran (--) ese

Divi (--) bt

Pi (--) upt

Dro (--) rse

Tr (--) aze

Bud (--) nder

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Here it comes

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Fuse - seam

Edge - gear

Ditch - church

Just - steam

Range - geese

Divide - debt

Pier - erupt

Drove - verse

Tram - amaze

Budge - gender

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A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out." offers the clerk.

"Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.

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A blonde walked up to the front desk of the library and said to the librarian:

"I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters for me to keep all the names straight!"

The librarian replied:

"Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.

"Why didn't you wait till your husband got home?" someone asked.

"I could," my mother told the group,"but the couch is easier to move if he's not on it."

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Tom was in his early 50's, retired and started a second career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the Boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk.

"Tom, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you're being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know Boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, you're coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?"

"They said, "Good morning, General."

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"Top Ten Blonde Inventions"

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1) The water-proof towel

2) Solar powered flashlight

3) Submarine screen door

4) A book on how to read

5) Inflatable dart board

6) A dictionary index

7) Ejector seat in a helicopter

8) Powdered water

9) Pedal-powered wheel chair

10) Water-proof tea bag