YOU: When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered. ME: It just happens that my nerves are bothering me.

YOU: When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced. ME: I just happen to be a good judge of human nature.

YOU: When you compliment people it's because you use flattery to get your way. ME: I only encourage people.

YOU: When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're unbearable slow and pokey. ME: I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship.

YOU: When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because you're a spendthrift. ME: When I do, it's because I'm generous.

YOU: When you stay in bed until 11 A.M., it's because you're a lazy good-for-nothing bum. ME: When I stay in bed a little longer, it's because I'm totally exhausted after working so hard.