Study: Spanking Can Bring Problems Later

Fri Feb 29, 8:15 PM EST

DURHAM, N.H. - New research by a University of New Hampshire domestic abuse expert says spanking children affects their sex lives as adults. Professor Murray Straus concludes that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

Other studies have shown the link between spanking and physical violence, but Straus said his research is the first to show a link between corporal punishment and sexual behavior.

"My underlying motive was to bring this to the attention of parents and of more people," Straus said, "in the hope it will help continue the decrease in the use of corporal punishment."

Straus, co-director of UNH's Family Research Laboratory, conducted a study in the mid-1990s in which he asked 207 students at three colleges whether they'd ever been aroused by masochistic sex. He also asked them if they'd been spanked as children. He found that students who were spanked were nearly twice as likely to like masochistic sex.

He has bundled that study with three new ones that explore the connections between corporal punishment, coerced sex and risky sex. He presented all four studies this week at the American Psychological Association's Summit on Violence and Abuse in Relationships in Bethesda, Md.

Straus said his study found adults who were spanked as children are more likely to coerce their partners to have sex.

Straus asked 14,000 college students in 32 different countries whether they strongly disagreed, disagreed, agreed or strongly agreed with this statement: "I was spanked or hit a lot before age 12." He also asked whether they had ever verbally or physically coerced an uninterested partner to have sex.

He found a big difference between students who said they'd been hit a lot before age 12 and those who said they hadn't. For every increased step on Straus's four-step scale of agreement, men were 10 percent more likely to have verbally coerced sex from a partner by insisting on sex or threatening to end the relationship if the partner refused. Women were 12 percent more likely to have done that.

Previous studies have shown that 90 percent of parents strike their toddlers, a statistic that's held steady throughout the 30 years Straus has researched corporal punishment. Meanwhile, the number of parents who hit older children has drastically decreased. Straus said it's unclear why, though he has some theories. One is that 2- and 3-year-olds are less likely to respond to repeated verbal warnings.

Straus said he would like more pediatricians and child-rearing experts to warn against spanking. He'd also like lawmakers to take a stand by dedicating state money to teaching parents about the dangers of corporal punishment.

"The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved," Straus said.

And perhaps ....................that's why they weren't spanked. Not all children have personalities that inspire or require corporal punishment, and lots of parents need to do it to relieve their own frustrations.

Plus - parents have cut down on hitting older children because they fear being sued or killed by a bitter kid.

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I believe there is evidence that spanking can cause certain sexual problems later in life. Something not mentioned in the article is the fact that certain kinds of spanking actually results in a type of sexual arousal in some kids. That is a very unpleasant side effect than can have a later impact on the person's preferences in having adult sex. There are plenty of ways to discipline a child without resulting to spanking or other physical force. Children's bones are fragile and adults beating on them to me is disgusting. It may relieve the parent's frustration but punishment does not change behavior, only suppresses it for the moment.

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I spanked my kids, partly because I was spanked myself as a child, and also because I lacked the knowledge or skills to know how to discipline without spanking. My daughter however, raised her boys without spanking them, and they grew up to be lovely, intelligent, well behaved kids. I changed my views on spanking for the most part, because I realized there WERE better tactics for dealing with children, but that I just didn't know what they were, when my kids were little.

I think the various Nanny shows on TV are a wonderful thing. I also think that parenting classes are a great idea. The sad thing is that we learn to be parents mostly by the way we were parented, and if we were poorly parented, we pass on the bad methods to our own kids inadvertantly.

Knowledge is the key. I think that if shown a better way, most people will try it.

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I was not spanked as a child. But I knew nothing about babies until I had one and I used Dr. Spock's book as a reference. I never had the least desire to spank my kids -- the thought repelled me to lay a hand on their fragile little bodies. And Spock provided ways to deal with problem behaviors that made sense to me.

Later in life I spent some time studying behavioral psychology and learned that in experimental psychology punishment has been found only to suppress certain behaviors for the moment but they reappear when the punisher is no longer present. But behaviors can be shaped by consistency and positive reinforcement. For children, time outs are effective. Because withdrawal of the parent's attention is more effective than physical punishment.

To see a parent reduced to using physical violence -- and spanking is that no matter how some try to say it is not -- by a child is not a pretty picture.

I understand there are some kids who seem to be born with a proclivity for oppositional behaviors. In such cases, professional help is needed, but they are rare and not the norm. But the parent's love and attention above all is important to a child and the more positive attention given the better the results. Many parents pay close attention to a child only when the child misbehaves. Praise for and attention to good behavior goes much further to guide the child.

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There is too much of a tendency to generalize about child punishment and pontificate about "one method fits all"...

Having raised three, all astoundingly different, I can tell of my experiences:

One could be disciplined effective by a stern look. The very idea that she had disappointed her father would reduce her to tears....

One could only be disciplined by beating severely about the head and shoulders with a two by four, ant that was just to get his attention...

One was so embarrased by having to drop her pants to get a spanking, that the potential embarrassment alone was enough to keep her in line.... Spankings were very very rare, since she knew the drill.... Threatening was almost always enough....

Now, 20 years later, all are on very close terms with the family, and every one of them has told me that they deserved anything they got, and love me for setting the boundaries..... None are in prison (at least , as of 6pm last nite), and all are completely independent, drug free, and call or Email me regularly.......... and, get this, "THEY ASK ME FOR ADVICE" !!!!

And, most important, no physical punishment was ever administered unless the wife approved, and was present...... I always had to be the "bad guy", but it was always sanctioned by the boss...... The Godmother and her Luco Bratzi.....

So, in my experience, one size doesn't fit all, and people should just shut the hell up and let the parents do the best they can. They are usually too young to be having children anyway, and won't listen to a damn thing you say, so we might as well sit back and watch the whole world go to hell and enjoy it...

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I still believe a sharp slap across the face is the perfect response to snotty back talk. Only had to do it once, and only to one of mine, but the lesson took - instantly.

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