On the first day of school a first grader handed the teacher a note from his mother. The note read....."The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

I was driving with my three children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked. As I was reeling from the shock my 5 year old exclaimed from the back seat..."Mummy that lady is not wearing a seat belt!"

While working for a Meals-on-Wheels group I used to take my 4 year old grand-daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable questions she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy is not going to believe this!!"

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo she warned, "Daddy you should not be wearing that suit." "Why not darling?" "You know it always gives you a headache the next morning."

A little girl had just finished her first week at school. "I'm just wasting my time at that place," she said. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

A little boy opened the big family Bible. As he was fingering through the pages an object fell out and on to the floor. "Mummy look what I have found!" he called. "What have you got there, darl;ing?" With astonishment in his voice he answered, "I think it's Adam's undies."