The pope was in Aberdeen on his tour of Scotland in His Popemobile which was was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed, just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English soccer jersey struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot shark.

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish soccor jerseys roared into view from around the lighthouse. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead shark and were preparing for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope - he was summoning them to the beach. Upon reaching the shore they were greeted by His Holiness who was in raptures about the rescue and said,

"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and England, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."

He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others "Who was that??"

"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpoonist replied, "that may be but he doesn't know a damn thing about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up?"