Today, I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport.

She's getting a little vague up there. She's at the age where she doesn't remember things too well.

So, when I saw her, I said, "Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!"

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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.