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Humor








Important News Summaries

(From an Australian newsgroup):

MOOMBA - modern Melbourne equivalent of Nero fiddling while Rome burns. Once called Labor Day.

FTA (Free Trade Agreement) - an agreement freely entered into by some, under the illusion that it is not unilateral.

AFGHANISTAN - a colonial war based on the assumption that, where the Russians failed, we will succeed.

TARIFF REDUCTION - a euthanasic form of manufacturing suicide.

IMPORTS - buying things which you could just as easily make at home; indeed, once did.

EXPORTS - selling raw materials to foreigners so they can manufacture things once made here.

PRIVATISATION - the flogging off of public assets, only to discover you made a mistake and must re-nationalise them.

GLOBALISATION - a means of sacking local workers and giving their jobs to foreigners.

CAPITALISM - modifying a family firm by taking on both wage slaves (employees), and parasitic external shareholders, and calling this Progress.

PROFIT - a rip-off of someone or other; perfectly moral and legal; no upper limit - provided you are willing to have a Recession or Depression from time to time.

WORKERS - a necessary evil, so the fewer you have, the better. A completely-automatic plant is the ideal.

UNIONS - entirely unnecessary, as benevolent capitalism will take care of all your worries.

GROWTH - plundering ecology to make a profit.

UTOPIA - has arrived; or hadn't you noticed? It is otherwise known as The Economy. It came with the Fall of the Berlin Wall.

GEOGRAPHIC DEMOCRACY - putting a piece of paper in a magic box, and getting the government you deserve. A relic of pre-industrial times.



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