(Clever and irreverent; but some of you might enjoy it):

The questions are:

Where did I come from?

Why am I here?

How do I decide what is right and wrong?

An excerpt from "why am I here?"

I could create more universes and more laws, but what's the point? I've already done universes. Creation is like sneezing or writing short stories; it just comes out of me. I could go on an orgy of creation. Create, create, create. After a while a person can get sick of the same thing, like when you eat a whole box of chocolates and discover that the last piece doesn't taste as good as the first. Once you have had ten children, do you need twenty? (I'm asking you, not the pope.) If more is better, then I am obligated to continue until I have fathered an infinite number of children, and an endless number of universes. If I must compel myself, then I am a slave.

The link is: http://ffrf.org/books/lfif/?t=theologian