My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it … so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it … mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a Quick Fit Centre, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory, I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a job working for a swimming pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. After years of trying to find work, I finally got a job as an historian, until I realised there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks Coffee, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!