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Humor


Questions and Answers

Most parliaments in the Westminster tradition have a "Question Time", in which questions are asked, by each side of the House, of the relevant Minister. Note: This is not necessarily "Answer Time", and while the old adage of - "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies" - may not apply, dodging the question, can. When is a question not a question? When it's rhetorical. When is an answer not an answer? When it's circumlocutional. A question about "A" might be answered by referring to B,C,or D, or, if pressed, about A1, A2, etc, but not about A itself. Or, A can be referred to, by its context; or not at all, by going off at a tangent. When any of this happens, a Point-of-Order is raised by an indignant Opposition, whose aim of probing deep into the possible malpractice of Govt has been thwarted. What is a Point-of-Order (POO)? You tell me, then we'll both know. It can relate to any evasive reply, such as refusing to give a straight Yes or No, when such is possible. The Adjudicator: President, or Speaker, is limited to directing a reply to the question, not telling a Minister how to answer, which seems rather a cop-out of responsibility. But a Minister can deflate a long-winded question by responding with a curt Yes or No - by which time most folk have dropped off to sleep, or forgotten what the question was all about, if they ever cared. Questions, in general, come in all shapes and sizes, from the Vexatious to the Dorothy Dixers. Have you stopped beating your wife? - begs the question in no uncertain manner, and you can't give a simple Yes or No to this without incriminating yourself. How do you like our beautiful country? Is a question asked by Uncle Sam, back in Dickens' time - and not much has changed since. How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? - may have intrigued the Schoolmen of the Middle Ages, but it has many theological assumptions underpinning it. Where is God? God is in Heaven. Where is Heaven? Heaven is where God is. What is Hell? Hell is being deprived of God. From these Circular Arguments it is clear that God can't lose. Why do you always answer a question with a question? Why shouldn't I? Then there's the Self-Referential: Is this a question? If it is, then this is the answer. The Play-on-Words: Which do you prefer: a cold chop, or a hot steak(stake)? Depending on response, you would prefer to have your head chopped off, or be burnt at the stake. But, to get back to Parliament: Why should you never purchase a used car from a politician? Because, by the time the paper-work is done, the car will have rusted away. Why is Parliament House such a solid structure? So the hot air generated inside won't cause it to float away.



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