Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!

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Did you ever notice?

When you put the two words

"The" and "IRS" together

it spells "THEIRS"?

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Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter.

First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.

Second woman: I know.

First one: How?

Second one: My dog told me.

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A drunk and a preacher were driving up a mountainside in different vehicles. The drunk was swerving from side to side; the preacher was driving straight and true. All of a sudden, the preacher lost control and drove off the edge of a cliff.

The drunk noticed the preacher going off the edge, so he stopped his car and went to see if he was all right. He noticed the preacher was climbing up the hillside. He yelled down at the preacher, "Are you alright?" And the preacher replied, "Have no fear my son, I had the Lord riding with me."

The drunk then yelled back, "You had better let him ride with me next time, cuz your gonna get him killed!"

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

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[If you would like to be included on John's "clean humor" list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with "=Include Me=" as the Subject. John does not write the jokes. but only passes on the ones he thinks are funny. Laughter is good for the immune system.]