A man was sitting under an apple tree when an apple fell, and hit him on the head...

(1) as a Denier, his thick skull didn't feel the impact, so, when he glanced beside him and saw an apple which wasn't there a moment ago, he thought it might be a pomme de terre (as the French call it). Irrespective, it is all an Act of Nature.

(2) as a Sceptic, he might have felt the blow, and cursed the perversity of apples, with their evil intent.

(3) as an Ignoramus, he vented his spleen on the tree, by getting an axe and chopping it down. He then sat down in the blistering sun.

(4) as a Greenie, he cherished the tree, forgave it its sins, and was prepared to suffer in the cause of all things botanic.

(5) but as a Sage, he got up, picked all the apples, filled his basket, and sat down, secure in the knowledge that no more fruit would fall. However, a bird perched in the tree and deposited on to him.

(If you find a Moral in this Tale, you're welcome).