Clergy/Leaders' Mail-list No. 1-161 (Sermon)

FORGIVE! Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35.

by Don McLellan

I don't remember ever having been more horrified at something on TV. These images of planes slamming into buildings and buildings collapsing will live in my mind until the day I die - thanks partly to TV's habit of showing the same grim footage over and over. Sadness and fear abound, not only in the USA but around the world.

But the most visible and obvious emotion of all is anger. We have heard so many world leaders over the past several days declaring that terrorists will be brought to justice, sometimes in language that does not appear to care much for the rule of law. Plainly, if people could get their hands on these criminals, they might not live long enough to face any kind of trial.

In the midst of all this carnage, it is serendipitous that I should have already planned to bring this message about forgiveness. Whether we experience something on the scale of what happened in America, or whether we are just rubbing up against family and neighbours and fellow Christians, every day we are confronted with the question of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not needed only when someone sins. Sometimes two perfectly legitimate agendas may come into conflict. It is easy at such times to feel as if someone has done the wrong thing, or to be hurt by an action that is possibly quite unavoidable. Mistakes are often made; and sins are often committed. That's human nature. The big question is, What does the Lord require of us then? The Lord requires that we forgive.

When Jesus teaches the Lord's Prayer, he expands on just one issue: Matt 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

It sounds so easy, yet we all know it is so hard. And there are good reasons for finding it so hard:

It is hard to forgive when it lets people off lightly. Deep within the unconscious mind there is a need for justice. That is part of the emotion that is welling in American hearts right now. The 4,700 people who died in the rubble on the morning of September 11th 2001 were probably completely innocent about the troubles in Afghanistan. Some possibly couldn't have found Afghanistan on a map unless they were blindfolded and given a pin. "Their blood cries out for vengeance." Would it seem right to forgive the people who did these dreadful deeds?

Let's face it, it often does not seem right to forgive deeds far less dreadful than that. If I forgive this person for what he or she has done, then justice will not have been served. Isn't that how we often feel?

It is also hard to forgive when it makes the offence look minor. How can we forgive a person when doing so will make it seem that they didn't really do anything wrong? If someone has a habit of doing the same wrong thing all the time, how can forgiving them help them to change?

Sometimes even to be asked to forgive seems to be designed to make the offence look trivial, and we may well feel incensed at the very request. If someone suddenly appeared on American TV screens and said, "I did it, I destroyed those buildings, but it was a terrible mistake, please forgive me," what kind of response do you think he would get? Does he get away with everything simply by saying sorry? Let me leave that question hanging for a moment.

It is also hard to forgive when the guilty person puts the pressure on us to forgive. Sometimes a victim is made to feel more guilty than the offender, when the offender puts pressure on the victim to forgive. "You claim to be a Christian, but what sort of Christian are you if you don't forgive me?" Have you ever had that happen to you? And doesn't it make you angry?

Even so, Jesus calls on us to forgive. Indeed, his demand that we forgive is incredibly forceful, as we shall see in a moment. However, before we come to that, we should stop first and make sure that we are clear on what we are talking about.

First, we must distinguish between forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometimes we use the words as having the same meaning, but for a moment we need to make a slight distinction between them. Forgiveness is what a person who has been sinned against offers to the person who offended. Reconciliation is what happens when people who were estranged have all differences resolved and fellowship restored completely. Reconciliation, if you like, is a transaction that takes place when an offender repents of what they did, and a victim forgives. If the victim does not forgive, of course reconciliation has not happened.

However, it is important to understand that it is possible to be forgiving without reconciliation taking place. The easiest way to show this is to remind you that God has provided forgiveness of sins for every person on this earth through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. Yet, even though that offer has been made, the forgiveness is not complete (i.e. reconciliation has not occurred) until the guilty person repents.

"God was 'reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them.'" 2 Cor 5:19. But if people will not be reconciled to God, their destination is hell. Jesus himself constantly warned about hell. No one in ancient times spoke of it more often than Jesus. Therefore, God's offer of forgiveness only becomes complete, in other words reconciliation only happens, when people repent. That is why you may sometimes find yourself in the difficult position of being willing to forgive ( be reconciled) but it can't happen until the offender admits the problem and repents.

Second, we need to understand that forgiveness cannot occur without loss. If I owe you $1000 and cannot repay it and you forgive me that debt, what has happened to your $1000? It has gone forever. Here is the essential and often overlooked issue in the question of forgiveness. To forgive means to accept the pain. Punishment inflicts pain on the offender. Forgiveness inflicts pain on the person who has been wronged. Or, more accurately, forgiveness requires the victim to accept the pain already there, without demanding retribution.

For all that, Jesus still calls upon us to forgive. We must forgive because Jesus demands it. Consider Peter's request in Matthew 18:21: How often must I forgive? In Luke's Gospel (17:3-4) Jesus links forgiveness with the brother's or sister's repentance. As long as she keeps repenting, I must be there for her. But repentance is not mentioned in Matt 18:22, and the reason is simple: because forgiveness must be offered even if reconciliation cannot occur because of lack of repentance. We are to have hearts ready to forgive. That is the way of Christ.

We must also forgive because we have been forgiven. According to an NRSV footnote, a talent is "15 years' wages of a labourer," while the 300 denarii the other servant owed is about a year's pay. So it would have taken 150 years at normal wages for the man to pay back the king. A bad joke even to ask, really. The point of the parable is that people simply cannot repay the debt they owe to God. To fail to forgive, even if it is like forgiving a year's pay, is to claim that the person who has offended you owes you more than you owe God. That is a false claim. If we make it, it probably means we have no idea of the extent of God's forgiveness towards us. Jesus warns that such a person is beyond redemption.

Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsy were imprisoned in Auschwitz, that hell-hole of a concentration camp in Germany during WW2, because they had harboured Jews. After the war Corrie went around the world telling the story of the way God had met her during her imprisonment. She suffered so much at the hands of some of those guards, including the death of Betsy.

Her travels eventually took her to Germany, where she told her story in many places. On one occasion, at the end of the meeting she noticed a man shouldering his way through the crowd in the aisle, and recognised him immediately as one of the Auschwitz guards. He thrust out his hand to greet her, and made a little speech. "I am so glad to meet you, Fraulein ten Boom, and isn't it wonderful to know that, as you have told us, God has forgiven all our sins?"

Corrie froze. She recognised him; he didn't recognise her. No matter what she did, she could not bring herself to shake hands with this criminal. Could she forgive him? Should she forgive him? Well of course she should. But how?

She cried to God; and the Spirit of Christ who gave Jesus the power to say "Father forgive them" even as he hung on the cross, met Corrie that day. (Read about it in "The Hiding Place.")

The same Spirit of Christ is with you and in you in your struggle to forgive. There is no reconciliation without repentance. But there will never be reconciliation without forgiveness. Let's use the power of the indwelling Spirit to make sure we have done all we possibly can, to be reconciled to others.

- Don McLellan <>