A teenager once asked pianist, Arthur Rubinstein, for his autograph. Knowing he doesn't sign autographs, after the concert the teenager held out a pad and pencil and said to the great musician, "I know your fingers are tired, sir, but mine are, too--from clapping." He got his signature.

Somebody remarked that the task of a preacher is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable!

A woman with a very nasty attitude had spent almost two hours browsing through the store. The longer she shopped, the more she complained and criticized. finally she said, "Why is it, I never get what I ask for in here?" "Perhaps Madam," sad the exhausted clerk, "it's because we are too polite."