Too many people don't have fun. They go through their days with a morbid sense of doom. People - even family members - don't like to be around them, and their mood can be contagious. You can decide to have good days, to find pleasure in your surroundings, and be a person others enjoy being with.

How to feel good:

* Work up a sweat. Exercise every day - 20 minutes or more. You need to work hard enough to get a little sweaty. The chemicals you produce during exercise make you feel good. Find activities you can enjoy: bicycling, skateboarding, jogging, jumping rope, or walking with a friend.

* Think positive thoughts. Focus your mind on the good things in your life, the things you like about yourself, and the things you enjoy doing. Try to capture the good feeling they give you so you can remember them when you need to.

* Find a listener. Find a friend who'll listen to you without judging you, who can keep confidences, and who will hold you accountable. Be that kind of friend in return.

* Relax. Relaxation relieves stress. You don't have to let your surroundings determine your moods. When you need to relax, take a deep breath and let it out slowly - repeat 10 times or more. Or focus your attention on something and describe it to yourself in detail. How many different colors can you find in it? What about textures? Does it have a taste or sound? You'll feel better because you'll have left the past and not gone into the future by exploring the present.

* Let others see your smile. Determine to smile at everyone, see the humor in things, laugh out loud, be silly, and enjoy life. You don't have to be the class clown, but you can be known for your playful outlook on life.

* Go for natural highs. Take delight in the things around you rather than seeking a release through drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Find activities (a walk in the park, making something) that can give you satisfaction through participation.

* Be grateful. Think of the things in your life that you're grateful for. Write out this list and keep adding to it. Keep it handy to refer to. You may choose to put it on the dashboard of your car, or on your mirror so that you see it every day. Make it a habit of thanking God for all of it.

* Compliment others. A sure way to feel good is to compliment others on their achievements or attitudes. By looking for the good in others, you will begin adopting those same traits.

* Become an optimist. Spend a day seeing the world like a glass half full rather than half empty. Others like to be around optimists - it gives them hope.

* Dream. Think about what you'd like to achieve - in a week, a month, or 10 years. Start taking little steps to achieve that goal. You are building your future so make it big. Don't follow someone else's dream - make your own.

----------- Dr. Pat Palmer is a psychologist and former director of the Assertiveness Training Institute of Denver. She has counseled adults and young people throughout the United States in the areas of assertiveness and self-esteem and is the author of several best-selling children's books on the subject. Her books are widely translated and are particularly popular in the United States and Japan.

Melissa Alberti Froehner is a businesswoman, writer, and mother of three who has worked extensively with young people.

From Teen Esteem, 2nd Edition by Pat Palmer and Melissa Alberti Froehner, copyright (c) 1989, 2000. Used by permission of Impact Publishers, Atascadero, Calif., 1-800-246-7228.

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