Things that we have heard and known, that our ancestors have told us, We will not hide them from their children; we will tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a decree in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children; that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and rise up and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments. (Psalm 78:4-7)

A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)

He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.' (Matthew 18:2-6)

Jesus said, 'Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the good news, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this age - houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields with persecutions - and in the age to come eternal life.' (Mark 10:29-30)

Now therefore revere the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness; put away the gods that your ancestors served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.' (Joshua 24:14-15)

.....

In our final meditation let us think about the godly commitment of an ancient family, and ask about our own commitment to the living God within our homes. Joshua challenged his contemporaries to 'Choose this day whom you will serve.' If they chose to follow the gods of this world, Joshua and his family were prepared to put themselves on the line: they would revere the Lord, and serve him alone, in sincerity and in faithfulness. The same stark choice faces us.

'As for me,' Joshua says. Deciding to serve God is always a personal decision because it involves the very heart of our being. Although Joshua's decision was personal, it cannot be private. Joshua not only says, 'as for me', but 'as for me and my household'. Faith in the living God is more than personal and private; it is also a family affair.

I've heard parents say, 'Oh, our children can choose whether they follow God or go to church or whatever they want to believe.' Do these same parents say, 'We'll let our children decide whether or not they want to go to school and learn to read and write'? No one be neutral about faith in God. The Bible is clear on this: if we do not teach our children to serve God, we are teaching them to serve other gods.

Some fathers say, 'My house without me'. Joshua did not leave religion to the wife and kids. Gentlemen: have you determined that not only your house but you yourself, will serve the Lord, and you will lead your family in that godly enterprise?

Or, maybe, 'As for me without my house'. Some may have a go-it-alone attitude of 'just Jesus and me.' Joshua was not so foolish. He made it clear that his family would be serving the Lord too. He would do everything he could to teach his children the ways of God.

Or you could take the coward's way out and say, 'As for me and my house, if everybody else agrees'. Whatever religious stance your friends and relatives take is important, but your integrity should mean you do what God wants you to do, even in spite of others' opposition. The old argument 'But everybody's doing it' carried no weight with Joshua. If all others chose to be idolaters, Joshua and his household were going to serve the Lord - no matter what the consequences.

More commonly these days: 'As for me and my house, we will serve ourselves.' That is the ultimate idolatry, selfishness: 'me, my wife, and my son John. Just we three, no more.' We actually serve the Lord by serving others. Jesus said in his parable of the great judgment (Matthew 25) that we will one day be asked about this. When he was poor, homeless, hungry - what did we do about it? When I ask some families 'What does your household regularly do for the good of the deprived or marginalized?' some of them have trouble naming anything.

Still others might change our text around to, 'As for me and my house, the Lord will serve us'. We cast our intellectual vote in God's direction, but our heart's vote is still with the world. A true commitment of faith in Jesus Christ involves a belief that God is infinitely superior to anything this world can offer. The cliches 'pie in the sky when you die bye and bye', or 'receiving Jesus as your personal Saviour' point to the dangers of a privatized, unbiblical religion.

Or, again, 'As for me and my house, we will say that we will serve the Lord.' How could an entire generation grow up and not know God and all he had done for Israel? Because their parents didn't tell them. They had said they would serve the Lord, but they had neglected the most strategic part of service: teaching their children about God.

Or they did it in a perfunctory way. Children can see straight through the hypocrisy of religious faith which has words without deeds, preachments without faith, hope and love. You know the well-known 'Child's letter to God': 'Dear God, We got a lot of religion in our house, so don't worry about us. Teddy'. As parents, our job is far more significant than uttering exhortations about 'religion'. We want to teach our children to worship God. Yes, not just in church but also in our homes. And not only in the formal 'family altar' if you have one, but by the way we live and move and have our being with one another.

One of the best-known descriptions of worship is that of Archbishop William Temple:

To worship is to quicken the conscience by the holiness of God; to feed the mind with the truth of God; to purge the imagination by the beauty of God; to open the heart to the love of God; and to to devote the will to the purpose of God.

This kind of worship is not something you do in sacred places at specific times. It's a whole-of-life experience.

Ask anyone who had godly parents, 'What are your earliest most cherished memories?' They'll tell you something about their parents' authentic communication of God's love. I can remember vividly, when I was a two year old, my mother doing her housework in our suburban Sydney home. Sunbeams danced along the rays of the warm, morning sun. While she worked my mother sang her favourite hymns. It was in the security and loving warmth of those times that I learned 'there's a friend for little children above the bright blue sky, a friend who never changes, whose love will never die.'

Bedtime, for little children (and even for older ones) is a precious time to 'touch the Infinite', to remind ourselves of the loving power behind all things, and of a caring Father-God who forgives the wrong we might have done that day and who will be with us as we sleep. For small children, sung lullabies add a soothing finale to the day. They can be old fashioned like Isaac Watts' 'Cradle hymn': 'Hush, my dear, lie still and slumber, Holy angels guard thy bed. Heavenly blessings without number Gently falling on thy head.' My wife used to sing the negro spiritual 'Sweetest Little Fellow' to our young son. And last night, with our two adult daughters, we all found ourselves, before turning in, humming the Vineyard song playing on our stereo: 'Faithful One, so unchanging, Ancient One, you're my rock of peace. Lord of all, I depend on you; I call out to you, again and again, I call out to you, again and again. You are my rock, in times of trouble. You lift me up, when I fall down. All through the storm, your love is the anchor. My hope is in you alone.' It's beautiful - and very reassuring after a pressured day.

Children learn first and best from their families. Just as by the end of their second year they use the language of those with whom they live, so by the end of their childhood their life-language will be that of their parents and others who most strongly influenced them. Some children may sing, 'Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.' Wouldn't it be great if your kids changed it to 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for my parents told me so.'

A writing pastor dedicated one of his books: 'To my two sons, Warwick and Brenton, teachers in the art of family living, who in the process put grey hairs on my head, bills in my pocket, illustrations in my sermons, happiness in my home, and pride in my heart.'

No one is called to a more fulfilling vocation than that of bringing up healthy, happy, godly children.

A father was watching TV and heard the most horrible sound in our suburbs - a screech of brakes, then a sickening 'thump!' He rushed outside, where his ten-year-old was dying on the road. Neighbours in the next street heard his wailing: 'Danny, you can't die! You can't die! I haven't told you that I love you!'

So, today, now is the time to express your love. Tomorrow the baby won't be rocked, the toddler won't be asking why, the schoolboy won't need help with his homework, the teenager won't bring friends home for chocolate chip cookies and fun, the young adult will have left for her own life. And you will be left with lots of questions that begin with words 'What if?'

.....

Someone has said 'When a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church, it will not be difficult for that wife to adapt herself to her husband.' This does not imply inferiority or superiority - it implies uniqueness.

And it is important not only that we teach our children how to behave, we must teach them what to believe. We must teach them as soon as they are old enough to talk that God loves them... A little child can grasp deep spiritual truths... Read them the great Bible stories, explaining to them the truths found there and help them to memorise its tremendous passages. Teach them to fear the Lord in the finest, noblest sense of that grand old word, which is... reverential trust. It is the fear of the Lord that puts all other fears into proper perspective.

Why have homes? Because God ordained them. The truly Christian home is the nearest thing to heaven we have on this earth. It is a place of refuge and restoration in a turbulent world. And it can help an unbelieving world to understand the love of God. Is yours such a home?

Mrs. Ruth Graham, wife of Dr. Billy Graham, 'Why Have Homes?' closing address to the Southern Baptist Convention, 1978, reprinted in The Australian Baptist, August 9, 1978, p.7. [187]

Parents who want their children to know God must cultivate their own relationship with God. First and foremost this means a life of prayer. No amount of moral instruction, firm discipline, religious instruction, or church-going can make up for the lack of a praying parent. For it is pre-eminently in and through prayer that we pass from the realm of theory into the realm of reality and personal experience.

How can we convince our children that God is important, if we never give him any of our time? How can we pretend to love him, when we scarcely spend a minute with him alone? Our children may dutifully learn their rituals, and chant their mealtime grace, 'God is great, God is good, and we thank him for this food.' But, down in the heart, where the real attitudes are formed, our prayerless lives have taught another message: 'God is great but he can wait; gotta hurry or I'll be late.'

Happy the child who happens in upon his parent from time to time to see him on his knees, who sees mother and father rising early, or going aside regularly, to keep times with the Lord. That child has learned a lesson no lecture could impart. He has seen that God matters - he's important enough to take up our time; and he is personal - you don't just obey his rules, you actually communicate with him.

Larry Christenson, The Christian Family, Minneapolis, Minnesota: Bethany House, 1970, p.159 [237]

I would like to examine a popular misconception that goes something like this: 'I want my child to learn to make his own decisions after he is exposed to things. He shouldn't feel he has to believe what I believe. I want him to learn about different religions and philosophies; then when he has grown up he can make his own decision.'

This parent is either copping out or is grossly ignorant of the world we live in. A child brought up in this manner is to be pitied. Without continual guidance and clarification in ethical, moral, and spiritual matters, he will become increasingly confused about his world. There are reasonable answers to many of life's conflicts and seeming contradictions. One of the finest gifts parents can give a child is a clear understanding of the world and its confusing problems. Without this stable base of knowledge and understanding, is it any wonder many children cry to their parents, 'Why didn't you give me a meaning for all this? What's it all about?'

Another reason this wait-and-choose approach to spirituality is grossly negligent is that more and more organizations and cults are offering destructive, enslaving, and false answers to life's questions. These people would like nothing better than to find a person who was brought up in a seemingly broad-minded way. He is easy prey for any group offering concrete answers, no matter how false or enslaving.

It is amazing to me how some parents can spend thousands of dollars and go to any length of political manipulation to make sure their child is well prepared educationally. Yet, for the most important preparation of all, for life's spiritual battles and finding real meaning in life, a child is left to fend for himself.

Roy Campbell, How to Really Love Your Teenager, Wheaton IL: Victor Books, 1987, pp.114-115. [296]

Teaching children God's Word is certainly part of the parents' responsibility in training their children. One of the best examples is found in 2 Timothy 3:14,15 (look it up): ever since he was a young child, Timothy had heard the Word of God. Later, when he was called to be a minister of the Gospel, he found this early training to be invaluable.

The Book of Proverbs is a parent's best child training manual. Every husband and wife should sit down and read through Proverbs and make a list of the things this wise man wanted to teach his son. These are the same things God wants you to teach your children.

Howard Hendricks, God's Blueprint for Family Living, Lincoln, Nebraska: Back to the Bible, 1980, pp.24-25. [112]

No teacher can quite match the importance of the rich gifts that parents can give children in spiritual foundations. No subsequent teacher can easily correct central mistakes made by parents. No teachers following parents have a right to such a high level of implicit trust from the child. The earliest teachers sometimes have the longest influence. Their actions and attitudes become the building blocks of all subsequent understanding. There the self receives primary layers of impressions that will continue throughout the entire history of its development. This conception, sometimes attributed to Freud, was familiar to many centuries of Christian wisdom before Freud.

...Leading figures in the Christian tradition have often credited their own parents with unparalleled influence in their spiritual formation. John the Baptist is remembered as one born of pious parents, Elizabeth and Zechariah, who by their hope prepared the way for his calling and ministry. Timothy also was the son of parents remembered for their virtuous life. A special tribute is paid in Scripture to the parents of Susanna, that they were just and that they instructed their daughter well in the Torah. In subsequent Christian history, there are many such cases: Augustine, Chrysostom, Basil, Gregory of Nazianzus, John Wesley, and many others who largely credited their parents either with bringing them by example into the Christian faith or giving them excellent patterns of spiritual discipline.

Thomas C. Ogden, Pastoral Theology: Essentials of Ministry, San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1983, pp.145-146. [228]

Some of the most important moments in our home are built around prayer. Our two girls pray on their own now when they turn in for the night. But I usually slip into Zachary's room in the evening to pray with him before bedtime just as my father used to do with me. On the wall of our son's room there hangs a beautiful print of a father praying over his son while an angel bars the window from the evil lurking outside. Not all that long ago I probably would have thought the picture was melodramatic, but now as I tuck in my own flesh and blood and ask God to keep him safe, the evils of the world outside seem very real.

Gary Bauer, Our Journey Home: What Parents Are Doing to Preserve Family Values, Dallas: Word Publishers, 1992, p.88. [124]

When our children were young, I lived under the idea that if didn't have daily devotions with our children - a family altar - somehow we were failing God. The problem was, family devotions worked for other people, but although we tried all kinds of approaches, they never worked for us. Our children sat still for them on the outside but ran away from them on the inside. Yet we kept at them because I felt that a family altar was at the heart of a Christian family. Then I realized that family devotions wasn't the principle but the application of a principle. The principle was that I needed to bring up my children to know and love God. I had mistakenly been giving to our family devotions the same imperative that belonged to principle behind it. We then came up with a different approach, one that worked for us. Our two children left for school at different times. Each morning before Vicki left, I would pray with her about the day, about what was coming up. A little later, Torrey and one of his friends came into my study, and we'd sit and pray for five minutes about what their day held. That may not sound as satisfying in a sermon as saying we had devotions as a family at the breakfast table every morning, but for us it was an effective way to honor the principle. A preacher must make a clear distinction between the principle and its applications.

Haddon Robinson, in Bill Hybels, Stuart Briscoe and Haddon Robinson, Mastering Contemporary Preaching, England: Inter-Varsity Press, 1991, p.63. [248]

1. Plan bedtime to suit your child, not your evening... 2. Regulate your child's body functions by putting her to bed at the same time every night, if possible. She will begin to feel ready for bed at this time. 3. Establish and keep a bedtime routine to add feelings of security. Always reading a story and saying prayers will give your child a feeling of order and completion to the day. Then she knows it is time to sleep because all has been done as usual. 4. Choose a book with a bedtime story for each day of the year if you like. Better yet, send her off to sleep with some thought of God by using a daily devotional such as the Simon and Sarah series by Scripture Union. Or read a Bible story from a Bible story book written especially for your child's age. 5. Teach your child the Lord's Prayer as soon as possible. (Children's memories are remarkable!) Teach her also 'Now I lay me down to sleep' and let her pray in this bedtime routine (teaching her to talk to God for herself even as young as two or three). 6. For a child who is fearful, remind her that you will be nearby all night; but even more importantly, tell her that God watches over us all since he never needs to sleep. 7. Reassure her of your love with hugs and kisses before leaving the room.

This whole process takes only about ten minutes, and can save the child, and you, from hours of crying and fighting going to bed. For children who still resist, get into bed with them and read stories or allow them to look at books for a few minutes before turning out the light.

Then don't respond to continuous calls for water or whatever else they dream up to get you to come back. Tell them lovingly but firmly that you will be nearby but you will not keep coming back.

Kathy Bence, Turn Off the TV: Let's have fun instead!, London: Marshall Pickering, 1990, pp.100-103. [298]

Not only do we pray for the needs of our children, but there are also specific qualities we should ask God to build into children's lives. I have several that I pray for regularly. My list looks something like this: * Ability to make decisions * Ability to discern good and evil * Sense of humor and of caring for others * Ability to be a good communicator and listener * Ability to fail and to cope with failure * To be a person of integrity * Ability to attempt the impossible * Ability to forgive others and to ask forgiveness * To have a positive outlook and a desire for excellence * Ability to laugh at self and have a positive self-image * To put Christ first * To be secure in parents' love and be kind to all

Susan Alexander Yates, And Then I Had Kids, England: Word (UK) Ltd, 1992, pp.171-172 [132]

How do parents prepare their teenagers spiritually? Organized religious instruction and activities are extremely important to a developing child or teenager. However, nothing influences a teenager more than his home and what he is exposed to there. Parents need to be actively involved in a teenager's spiritual growth. They cannot afford to leave it to others, even superb church youth workers.

Parents must teach their teenagers spiritual concerns. They must teach them not only spiritual facts, but how to apply them in their everyday life. And this is not easy. It is quite simple to give teenagers basic scriptural facts, such as who different Bible persons were and what they did. But that is not what we are after ultimately. For we want teenagers to understand what meaning biblical characters and principles have for them personally.

Roy Campbell, How to Really Love Your Teenager, Wheaton IL: Victor Books, 1987, p.115. [136]

Scripture and prayer should always take precedence in the family devotional time, but extra 'nonreligious' activities can be included regularly or occasionally with exciting results. These extras are especially appealing and effective with children of elementary school age or older... By adding extra activities we can help our children relate their spiritual views to the world at large. We want our children to identify their biblical training with all areas of life, since the truths of Scripture are not to be isolated from everyday affairs. When we begin a family activity or project... we try to help our children understand how it relates to the truth of God's word even when the connection might seem to be remote. If we decide to play a rousing game of kickball, for example, we can comment on the healthy bodies God has given us.

If we frequently apply scriptural principles to these activities, our children will see God's pattern of involvement and influence in all their daily experiences.

Mary White, 'Something Extra for your Family Devotions', in Discipleship Journal, Issue 6, Nov. 1981, NavPress, pp.35,36 [165]

The way in which we decorate our homes can either dull or intensify our awareness of Jesus. The deep truths of God go beyond the limits of human language. A symbol can express the truth more simply and more profoundly than mere words. Christian symbols are spiritual windows through which God's truth can shine. If Jesus is the center of our family life, then why should not the decor of our homes reflect that - tastefully, artistically - but outspokenly? A cross, a lamb, the Alpha and Omega, three intertwined circles, a nativity scene - all relate an aspect of God. Through pictures, wall hangings, plaques, tableaux, we can surround our everyday life with a silent heavenly language - a quiet reminder of Jesus' presence in our midst.

The story is told of a woman whose three sons, to her great disappointment, all took up the life of sea-faring men. She was relating this to a visitor in the home one day, saying that she could not understand why they had all chosen to go to sea. 'How long have you had that picture?' The visitor inquired, pointing to a large painting that hung in the dining room. 'Since our children were small.' 'There is your answer,' the visitor said. For hanging on the dining- room wall was the painting of a large sailing vessel cutting smartly through the waves, its sails at full billow, the captain standing straddle-legged on the quarter-deck, his spy-glass in hand, scanning the horizon. Morning, noon, and night - with every meal - the boys ha taken into their inner consciousness the sense of high adventure portrayed in that picture. Effortlessly, with never a word being spoken, it had planted in them a hankering for the sea.

The surroundings in the home make a tremendous impact on the growing child. We want our children to cultivate an awareness of spiritual realities. With little effort and expense, we can surround them with subtle reminders of those realities, so that they will grow up 'looking not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen' (2 Cor. 4:18). Silently, effortlessly, Jesus will convey himself to the whole family, through the symbols and representations that decorate our homes.

Larry Christenson, The Christian Family, Minneapolis. Minnesota: Bethany House, 1970, pp. 176-7. [366]

When our oldest daughter was not quite three, we told her about a special Christian who lived a long time ago: 'His name was Nicholas, and we call him Saint Nicholas because saint means someone who belongs to God, just like we do. In St. Nicholas' town there were many poor children. They didn't have enough food, clothes, or toys. St. Nicholas used his money to buy food, clothes, and toys for the poor children. He didn't want them to be embarrassed by his gifts, so he gave secretly.

'St. Nicholas also told everyone about Jesus and how much God loved them. Many people became Christians because of what St. Nicholas said. Then some mean people who hated Jesus put St. Nicholas in jail to keep him from telling people about Jesus and from helping people. St. Nicholas kept on telling people about Jesus until the mean people finally had him killed.

'Because of how much St. Nicholas loved Jesus, and because of the many gifts he gave the poor children of his town, we still remember St. Nicholas at Christmas time. All of the gifts he gave, and all of the Christmas presents we give, are to remind us of the very best gift anyone ever gave: when God the Father gave his only Son, Jesus Christ, to us for our salvation.

'Today there are many people who don't know the truth about St. Nicholas. They call him 'Santa Claus' and they tell children pretend stories about him living at the North Pole and having elves and reindeer. But we know the truth, and when we see a department store Santa Claus or a picture of Santa Claus in a magazine, we remember the real Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, who loved Jesus so much and whose life and death remind us about God's gift of Jesus Christ to us.'

By learning this true story, our children are able to enjoy Santa Claus while being reminded of the gospel and the true meaning of Christmas.

Gretchen Passantino, 'Santa Claus and the Gospel' in Discipleship Journal, Issue Thirty-Six, Nov. 1986, NavPress, p.44 [335]

Christian parents often express concern about the Santa Claus and Easter Bunny myths. We advocate that if the parents are believing, teaching, and living the life of Jesus in the family, the children can enjoy some of the fun of the myths surrounding Easter and Christmas without losing sight of the historical facts which began the celebrations.

We never told our children that a rabbit could lay eggs. They knew quite early from their own observations that chickens are responsible for those, and that bunnies can only beget bunnies. But once we had taught our children the exciting truth of Christ's death and resurrection, and explained to them as clearly as possible the abundant life made available to them by those events, we saw no harm in celebrating with Easter eggs. Eggs are obvious symbols of new life...

Christmas in our home has always centered about the historical birth of the Son of God and the joy of the fact of his living in us. Our little ones grew up in the delight of being a part of a birthday party for Jesus, all gifts being given in his name. We knew and taught we could love and give only because he first loved us. Christmas morning in the Sandford household begins with a rush of excitement to appreciate for a moment the wonder of all the array of gifts under the tree, then settles quickly into a quiet sharing of prayers of thanksgiving and partaking of family communion. Then the packages are opened slowly, one at a time, each one appreciating, thanking, loving and sharing with every other member of the family. Sentence prayers are offered around the dinner table. This is the substance of the celebration, the Spirit of Christ born anew in our family in the midst of the giving and sharing. Family participation in the music and candlelight worship services at church bring into sharp focus the meaning and priorities of Christmas.

John & Paula Sandford, Restoring The Christian Family, South Plainfield, New Jersey: Bridge Publishing, 1979, pp.252-3. [321]

Vision is the ability to see God's presence, to perceive God's power, to focus on God's plan in spite of the obstacles... Vision is the ability to see above and beyond the majority. Vision is perception - reading the presence and power of God into one's circumstances. I sometimes think of vision as looking at life through the lens of God's eyes, seeing situations as he sees them. Too often we see things not as they are, but as we are. Think about that. Vision has to do with looking at life with a divine perspective, reading the scene with God in clear focus. Whoever wants to live differently in 'the system' must correct his or her vision.

Chuck Swindoll, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, Dallas: WORD Inc, 1987, pp.94,95 [117]

.....

O God, our heavenly Father, thank you for ordaining that in families we learn of your love, thank you for the gift of Jesus your Son, who came to earth and living in a simple home.

Our Father in heaven, pattern of all parenthood and lover of children, bless our homes this day. Reassure parents who find their high calling difficult. Give to children who feel bereft of love a deep insight into your love for them. Help young people to 'face forward', dedicating their lives to a strong and world-changing vision.

Bless our churches: may they be communities of faith, hope and love.

Bless our nation: may our leaders enact policies in line with your will for our families and our lives.

And when we stand before you, our Maker, Redeemer and Judge, May we be unashamed. Amen.

A Benediction

May the Lord send his light and his love to your family. May each member of your home grow in grace and in the knowledge of a loving God, and devote themselves to his will by doing good. Through Christ our Lord, to whom be glory now and forever. Amen.